This Girl is Jealous of Me: How to Deal with Jealous Women at work, at school, or out in public places. Why do women get jealous of each other? How do jealous women behave? I’ll also be sharing the actions of a jealous woman. And finally, signs a girl is jealous of another girl. Jealousy is a negative and vicious behavior and I have seen it countless times in women. It destroys friendships and relationships and creates a toxic environment.
Related: Signs your mother-in-law hates you and maybe jealous too
I’m going to tell you how to spot a jealous woman, how to tell if a woman is jealous of you, and how to deal with jealous women, and share some unbelievable stories how jealous women have treated me and the schemes and “back stabbing” they have deployed. Grab a cup of coffee and let’s dish!
*UPDATE Many of you shared your stories in the comments below. Thanks, this helps other women like you have peace of mind that you’re not alone.
How to Spot a Jealous Woman & How Jealous Women Behave
Related: Why do Women Hate other Women that Wear Makeup?
Oh what a “treat” these women are to deal with. Yikes! Good luck if you’re ever dealing with a jealous woman, they’re like ninjas of trickery and foul play. Beware. First, I’ll tell you how easy it is to spot and recognize a jealous woman. I have experienced all 22 of these unfortunate behaviors from jealous women. I know what sneaky things they like to stir up and I’m never surprised. Here’s what to look for:
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- Jealous woman will look you up and down up and down
- Jealous women want you to see her “judging you” while staring at you this way
- Jealous women will be noticeably talking about you with people staring at you or they’ll huddle and whisper looking back at you
- Jealous women will try to “put you down” they may say something nasty to you passive aggressively and walk away
- Jealous women will not be friendly
- Jealous women will give you a fake smile not using their eyes in a real smile
- Jealous women will not clap or congratulate you in awards or accomplishments given to you
- Jealous women will try to damage your car or property or steal from you – it gives them a high
- Jealous women will constantly troll you online – they will put you down or use fake profiles to “friend you” and keep tabs on your life
- Jealous women will try their hardest to get your man’s attention or try to contact him personally
- Jealous women will take action on you if their man looks at you
- Jealous women will feel threatened by you and harass you by phone, text, email, and social media
- Jealous women will stalk you and constantly compare your life their own
- Jealous women are out to get you any way they can
- Jealous women will spread huge lies about you, they want you to look bad compared to themselves
- Jealous women will never help you, they rather see you suffer
- Jealous women will humiliate you in public
- A jealous woman will only pretend to be your friend and talk bad about you in your absence
- Jealous women may be pathological liars spreading lies about you and may actually start believing their own crazy lies
- Jealous women like to create schemes turning everyone against you or they want people to hate you
- Jealous women like to sabotage you in some way, it gives them a high
- Jealous women like to anonymously make complaints about you
- Jealous women will prank you
- Jealous women will talk about you in another language when you’re near
- Jealous women that think you’re a threat to them will point out your flaws even if it’s something obscure like your elbow or knee
- She will call you a slut when you walk by
- Jealous women will say you’re fake or have breast implants when they don’t even know you!
- Jealous women will tell their kids to do or say something horrible to you
- Jealous women like to cut you off in traffic
- Jealous women will create a fake social media profile pretending to be you and make you look bad
- Jealous women will make sure to hold their boyfriend/husband closer in your presence
- Jealous women will claim that you look like a man
- jealous women will take a photo of you or film you
- Jealous women will make absurd excuses why you’re successful
- Jealous women will throw gum in your hair
- jealous women will mock you behind your back
Anything I left out? Please comment below.
How to deal with Jealous Women
You’re going to have to deal with these jealous women sooner or later.
Whether it’s at work, school, heck even your own neighbor, sister or sister-in-law… yuck!
The sooner you deal with these miserable jealous women, the better for you and the environment this is taking place.
They might even stop hating on your and causing trouble if they know you know they’re jealous of you. Sounds crazy right?
It’s drama. They want it. You’re probably sick of their jealous drama. Trust me, you don’t want it.
They may become embarrassed or they may become enraged. Which kind of jealous woman are you dealing with?
Unfortunately, there are all kinds of jealous creatures. Some are sly and sneaky that will quietly sabotage you behind your back aka backstabbers. The other kind like to join a pack of other jealous women that they find comfort in hating on you together in their own stinky company. (did I make you laugh yet? Oh keep reading…!)
Listed in the examples above I shared all the nasty behaviors jealous women carry with them and how to spot a jealous woman.
Here’s how to deal with jealous women head on.
I personally now have a blast dealing with jealous women.
I make myself laugh now because I have the confidence to deal with jealous women.
Here’s a surefire way to tell if you’re being singled out by a jealous woman: If there are truly “unattractive” or “plain Jane” women near you and the culprit is not saying a word about them… YOU are a THREAT to her! It may also be another woman that is very gorgeous – they want to be the only “pretty girl” in the room. I know this sounds crazy right?!
I wish I had this super power early on. Baby watch out because I know how to defeat a jealous woman 1 on 1. 😉
You won’t even have to get mean on their level. You can still be feminine and lovely and elegant doing so with class.
Speaking of elegant, hey… here’s
Also be sure to Read: How to be an Elegant Woman
Drumroll…..
How to deal with Jealous Women
First of all, isn’t it sad we have to live this way? Gosh! If I could send you a dozen roses and a note to cheer up, I would because you deserve it.
The #1 way to defeat a jealous woman is by staying happy and smile! They hate that the most! It kills them deep inside.
Be happy and smile – enjoy yourself – laugh – Jealous women are usually unhappy with themselves. They usually seek gratification seeing you unhappy too. They also seem to be the saying “misery loves company.” When this jealous woman is staring you up and down with hatred and jealousy in her eyes, smile and keep a positive vibe. Believe it or not, this is the best way how to deal with a jealous woman head-on. When they notice that they have no power over you this way, you will win. They love making you feel like you’re not good enough. Don’t let them upset you!
When they start looking at me if looks could kill, I smile and say “good morning” or “good afternoon” … and just make any casual small talk. Sometimes they’ll choke up from surprise and act like I “kicked their puppy” and pretend like they didn’t hear me. So you’ll have to repeat yourself. LOL.
COMPLIMENT Jealous women!
When you compliment someone, they will usually compliment you back. However, a jealous woman will 9 times out of 10 NEVER EVER EVER compliment you back. They will pretend they didn’t hear you. So make sure to say it loud. So yes, talk to them! Break the ice. PLUS it’s SUPER FUN!!!
Are you new to being looked up and down by other women?
Sure, if you’re new to dealing with this unwanted uncomfortable disrespect I have something easy you can do. Being looked up and down by other women and having them roll their eyes at you or give you looks of disgust, here’s what I want you to do. If you spot them doing this, I want you to pretend they’re invisible. Yes. Don’t even give them the satisfaction that you caught them being a jealous freak. Don’t look at them. I want you to look at something near them and concentrate on that – and be happy, give that your attention and pretend she’s not there. This will confuse her. These jealous women usually want you to feel uncomfortable. Or, you can relish in the attention… pose your feet cutely and tell her the brand of your shoes or something. LOL.
If you’re seasoned like me and want to have fun with these jealous women and send them packing
Here’s what you do! If you see someone giving you nasty looks perhaps they’re staring at you and ganging up with their friends and giving you dirty looks. These mean girls usually operate in packs… or so called herds. 😉 Go ahead and make eye contact with them if it’s that obvious. Now, get your confidence pumping, stand up straight and tall, now do a nice little walk by them like you’re working the cat walk and twirl, strike your pose and go back to where you were or keep it moving. Just remember to smile 😉 This makes their heads explode. lol. Who cares what they say because your confidence just showed them what’s hot. “That’s right” Give them a runway walk. Eat it up jealous chicks. Bam. Slay! Snatched! LOL.
If you’re like me, you’re the kind of woman that feels guilt having all the attention on you. You’re humble. It’s a great trait to have. However, enjoy yourself too every once in a while. 🙂
I do enjoy being feminine but it’s hard for me to really enjoy it because I feel like I’m taking away “the spotlight” from other ladies. I’m not a natural diva, but now that I’m in my 30’s I’ve developed a sassy attitude. Work it sister!
How to deal with Jealous Women at Work
Are you dealing with a “ray of sunshine” at work?
It’s usually a group of women bullies that act like B******. Is that a good description? If you walk out from your office and they’re looking you up and down and talking about you behind your back or running a whisper session as you walk by, you need to deal with them asap.
First, it’s wise to ask a male co-worker for inside information, if there’s anything going around about yourself or confine in them letting them know how uncomfortable it is for you at work and if they’ve noticed anything. Most of the time, a friendly male co-worker will alert you to what’s going on behind your back before you realize it.
Next, when they’re in a group cackling again, try to join them and ask what’s up? If they become quieter than church mice, address it, “wow ladies, I could hear you joking around a mile away, I want to laugh too…”
Next, direct question to one of the clowns. “Hey Sarah, whip out the story on me.” If there’s a pause of silence or weird pause in their speech, assume they’re talking about you. At least you addressed the jealous ladies. If you have an example of something you have heard them say about you behind your back get the person that heard it, run that by the group of ladies and see if they can track back the source. I bet they can’t when you’re face to face. At least try to mention you want an apology for talking about you and spreading lies.
What was the first time you realized someone was jealous of you? Comment below!
In my next post, I’m going to share some unbelievable stories of Jealous women. Stay tuned!
UPDATE:
Story #1 – Jealous Woman – “Shopping”
I love going out shopping with my husband. I’ve tipped him off how horrible women are to each other and revealed this “little world of women” to him. He has told me on numerous occasions when we’re out walking around, especially shopping, he will notice how other women are critically looking at me. Even while standing in line at the checkout lane. He’ll tell me… “WHOA this woman across from you kept looking at you up and down and then she kept staring at your ring.” I told him I would never stare at anyone like that because it’s rude.
Story #2 – Jealous Woman – “Catfish”
My Facebook updates would often involve sharing a thank you to my wonder boyfriend at the time. I would share photos of us happy on our weekend adventures, holidays, that soft of lovey dovey stuff. Things were great and it was all shared on Facebook, unfortunately this was my mistake. However, he also would share our wonderful photos and comments to each other on Facebook. Well, get this… one of his ex girlfriends or long ago high school love interest was trolling both of us apparently. This girl would aways contact his Facebook page with random updates. I’m not stupid, I saw this girl leaving him messages etc. She disguised her profile as a model or some hot chick, gorgeous the whole 9 yards ya know. 😉
I’ve watch catfish the show on MTV, I said there’s no way this person is real. This woman sees he’s in a relationship, why would she pursue him? This was a fake profile just as I had suspected with my reverse image search in Google. The real woman was a HUGE I mean ginormous Hispanic woman in her 40’s that was no model at all… This woman was “cat fishing” him hard. Apparently this woman had feelings for him still and really really tried to lure him in… Isn’t it sad when women use fake photos to try and mettle with your relationship. Yikes.
Story #3 – Jealous Woman – “Walking my dog”
So the other day I took my dog for our usual walk around the lake. I love dressing stylish and cute, so I had on a pair or ripped jeans, blush rose bomber jacket, and new cute Nikes with some Coach sunglasses. I was feeling pretty good about myself and walked my dog, not many people were at the lake. My dog goes #2 and I bend over to pick it up in a small black plastic usual bag. Now I’m walking over to throw away the waste… As I’m walking to the trash can…. I feel this woman “staring daggers at me.” from 3 ft next to me. I can see her eyes through her sunglasses now and I feel this intense “I’m gonna kill you vibe.” I felt like the mailman walking by a pit bull. As I’m about to throw away the dog poop bag, she yells out to her friend next to her “hold on wait for this ugly bitch to walk by.” I was shocked and I knew she was being mean talking about me just bringing me down. (I’m not ugly) I looked her in the eye and said “Are you talking to me?” In shock, she stared telling me I was rude to eavesdrop, I said you’re yelling. LOL. I was laughing. She then told me I smelled like shit and my hands were dirty and nasty and that I haven’t washed them in a year. I just kept walking because she was screaming even louder. (I’m thinking she just watched me use the bag to pick up poop.) Who cares? She wants a reaction out of me and I’m not giving it to her… I looked around for “that ugly bitch” she was talking about…nobody. What a hater.
Story #4 – Whispering women and mysterious Car dents / keyed car
In college, there was a girl in my classroom that I had never spoken to before. We sat on opposite ends of the classroom. Perfect strangers almost right? The girl I sat next to would tell me horrible things this girl would say about me. One time I even overheard it for myself. I was speechless. What did I do to her or anyone for that matter. She HATED me. she would talk crap about me. My classmate next to me warned me that she over heard she would key my car. WHAT?! WHY!? That year my car did collect many mysterious key marks and dents. I had no way to prove it was her.
Work with a jealous woman?
Gift them this book! That will send a REAL message loud and clear!
Share your stories in the comments, thanks!
I just lost my job over a jealous woman. I, allegedly, got a 22,000 order put on hold for bad parts. It was stated that I would not get fired, even though this is what usually happens. Someone at the “top” didn’t want me gone. But, the subleader decided she would take matters into her own hands. She can fire me for anything but, she decided to take her time and sabotage my work for two weeks straight. Setting me up became her goal in life.
I could do nothing about it. I am 51 and she is 22. I don’t understand how someone could so easily take away your income from you based simply on jealousy. I am so upset over this with no income. None of your advice will ease this misery. Then to top it off she went around bragging to my co workers what she had done…getting me fired…before I was even told. I figured it was coming but, never did expect her to brag. I was so embarrassing and hurtful. The only one who came to my defense was a young male I joke with. He was even attacked verbally for this by the male team leader and the witch. All of your advice does not help in every situation. The fact that a younger woman could be aggressive toward and older woman is strange to me. I also had problems with two other younger women over the younger male coworker. How could I possibly compete with youth? There rage and jealousy make no sense to me it is not logical at all.
Hi Smcarn,
I’m sorry to hear you were fired. How horrible that she bragged about it before it even occurred. This girl sounds like she has some issues and will never play nice. You can count on it that she’ll get caught someday doing something horrible. It’s women like these that ruin the work place. Maybe you’re like me and have never had a problem with guys at work, but when another girl starts working with you, crazy stuff/odd stuff starts happening.
From what I can tell, you sound like a nice person. Yes, who would want to get someone fired? That’s sheer evil.
This same thing sort of happened to me too… I was working with all males 6 in the office. When one of the accountants (woman) came back from vacation and saw me working there, I don’t know exactly what she said, but I was let go immediately. The next day. It’s not you, it’s them! They’re the ones with a crazy problem. You obviously made her feel insecure in some way shape or form. Whether it’s just being smarter, having nicer things, etc. These crazy women will pin point something and get jealous over it. Best of luck to you.
Jen
That young man likes you and was talking about you to the younger girls this is where a lot of men mess up their own lives and other people’s lives by sharing their feelings with other people that are haters
I agree. I didn’t know this guy liked me, and he’s really popular, and good- looking. His whole features, and not just his face. He’s also a professional who’s a ” rock star”. I didn’t know.. anything about him, and people ” sprayed” me, and I got around as ” mini”. I guess.. he had a ” crush” on me, and I didn’t know about it. I started hearing people say.. ” How about Mccaslin, and Angela”, were cut off.. from getting passed the ” gates”. I guess.. it was some ” set up”, and it reached into some ” housing” area that I have access to. By the will of god.. I am Clairaudient, and was.. directed to this ” house”. I found out he liked me, but other people.. told me in advanced that it’s my confidence, and he will heal your heart.
The problem is.. I didn’t understand what they meant about my ” confidence” being hurt, and why I should ignore what people were saying because.. technically.. I never understood.. what that meant from my psychic Joanne.
The issue was.. I’m directed to a house that’s under Nick Wellners control, and Amanda Olson’s, and that this was planned out to pick on me. While being ” stuck” in a harsh environment.. I am stuck listening to being.. ” Abused”. Which is Verbal, and Mental abuse.
I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, and haven’t recovered from Nick Wellner, and him abusing me.
The problem is they.. keep spraying crap, and are getting paid to harass me with.. European money, or some form of Cash Money.
It’s a bug pestering me, and it’s making me bitter and angry because I don’t know how to shut my third eye off.
The issue.. is ” trolling”, and completely lying but I heard.. what was said, and people not ” listening”. These people were cut off from the gate, and making a scene annoying people.
I kept hearing my ex friend Joey saying. ” You’re attractive”, it’s all over ” now”. Over, and over again. They made a tape recorder.. to record crap, and to repeat over, and over again to make me go ” crazy’.
It’s all about Power, and Control. I have this Jealous Beotch.. who’s trying to take me, and my boyfriend ” away”. The sad.. thing is.. I never knew he had a Crush on me, and they should of never ” sprayed” it.
If they didn’t harass me, and spray it.. I wouldn’t even know.. he had a crush on me or even bother being in a relationship with me. The thing.. is the girl is stupid, and a retard. This was bound to happen because I had my destiny read before hand, and it isn’t a ” Con Artist”.
She told me to ignore what they’re saying, and said Nick Wellner who’s this jealous guy.. told them to abuse me, and make me go crazy. She said.. we both know.. that what they’re saying isn’t even true.
I was informed by another psychic Sarah Worth? She told.. me to use me ” wit” on all the girls jealous of me. So! I busted out this Daffney.. girl, and she said.. ” how did you know”?
I used my wits, and busted her out in a ” lie”. The problem is you can’t lie to someone that’s already had it’s destiny.. revealed, and it being ” accurate”.
The problem is Lip syncing me, and astral projecting and morphing into other people.. with it’s ghost, and trying to mess with my mind. The problem.. is it’s not really a ” con”. Because.. this guy David is connected to Nick Wellner, and is part of ” Sum-41″ and same with P-rod who’s a ” Girl”, and let those people.. from my ” past” into the gates over in California.
The problem is.. I’m dealing with my ex’s, and Narcasstic people.. who are completely vain, and are talking about them self. And I don’t even.. care about them.
I dumped.. my high school, and my ex’s etc.. and they don’t even get it at all.
The problem is.. I’m not a nuisance, a pest. I’m in Florida, and I can hear them all the way.. in California.
The problem is they’re harassing my new boyfriend, and using his nick name, and saying he’s ” CONE”. Same with stealing my nick name ” MINI” and trying to say it’s ” THEM”.
The problem is.. my new boyfriend must of had a palm reading or something, and found out I was his ” wife”, and it’s accurate.
The problem was.. they thought it was Suja which was the lead guitarist, and it’s not. I’m getting bullied by the ” wrong” guy.
I was told that it was similar to Bizzy, and to keep busy when people are trying to hurt you.
So.. here I am getting tortured, and bullied and I don’t even know why.
They keep saying.. that it’s David, and it’s not. I am told to ignore all the rude, and hurtful comments.. because I am loved.
I’m not going to spray anything.. it’s going to add fuel to the fire.
All I know is.. I am loved, and to not worry about anything.
I however have this Annoying Jaque girl who keeps chasing some guy, and thinks she’s me, and she’s not. No way.. is she similar to me. It’s the personality mask in her.
She keeps cocking back, and thinking it’s her, got hooked up with some guy.. that looks similar to my boyfriend Jason in looks.
The problem is.. I’m stuck in a harsh environment.. listening to mean shit being thrown at me. All I hear is.. wanting my Boyfriends Money.. and wanting to sleep with him, and searching for a ” durex” condom.
The thing about me.. is I’m not using him for his body or his money, and that I love him for his mind.
I have people.. that are lying, and keep telling me ” I’ve been dumped”, and it’s a ” lie”. It’s Nick Wellner telling them what to say, and it’s all bullshit.
She said.. they don’t want to see you in love or to ever fall in love. So.. they’re on a mission to try to ” break you up”.
She said it’s a ” nasty girl”. I had a tarot card, and a palm reading..
I pulled out the ” Devil Tarot Card”, and she said nothing bad is going to happen to you!!
She said it’s a ” nasty Girl”, and they’re jealous of your Face/ brain and Heart.
She also said.. your confidence has been hurt, and you’re ” heart-broken”. Part of it.. is your past High school, and Anthony Boone breaking your heart.
Which the problem is the Virgo Moon. It’s a Aries Moon with a Virgo Sun. Which is ” Mike Hart”.
She said.. I’m your psychic, and so listen to ” ME”. Do not listen to anyone else.. I called her lastly on the phone, and she said.. to pick a psychic near you and so I picked.. Mark Mauvis who’s been accurate the whole time. He isn’t jealous of me, and he’s straight who’s married.
I have ” haters” harassing me.. and telling me we broke up. But the sad.. thing is!! I never.. Communicated with him before, and he never talked to me before. So.. how did he break up with me?!!
I asked her.. if I know who my soul-mate is. Sadly. She said. ” NO”. It isn’t anyone you know of. He’s not from your past. He’s actually.. your ” future”.
An ” X” is someone that knows you, and has had a past relationship with you. What you’re talking about is a ” professional musician” that’s hidden, and stuck in a plastic bag. You’re a ” fan” of his”. Not his X girlfriend. You don’t even know him. He isn’t Chuck.
She did that for my safety, and said dont’ go looking for him. He will find you. Now.. I see why. They’re spraying shit, and there’s no privacy. I have people competing, and harassing me about it.
Also.. harassing about Jesus loving me like a daughter, and having a heart of gold.
So.. I have that psycho Jaque girl, and other ” VAIN” girls saying it’s “ME”, and it isn’t you.
Which is directed to my SUN. ” I communicate to I Express”.
I have a one track mind but it isn’t that bad. The problem is I’m a good listener, they’re not listening.
That’s what makes you believe you have a one track mind, and it’s so bad. Plus it’s the attitude I have in me, and my confidence from being picked on.
I have jealous people calling me fat jokes etc.
YOU SHOULD HAVE HIRED SOMEONE TO FLAT ALL HER TIRES OR LET SOMEONE FOLLOW HER AT A STORE THEN FLAT AND SCRATCH HER SO IT WENT BE TO OBVIOUS….THE BITCH DESERVE IT…I HATE WOMEN LIKE THAT….I HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOUNG WOMEN WILL GET PUNISHED SOON. YES, I AM 54 ASIAN WOMAN AND FIT I HAVE THAT PROBLEM RIGHT NOW..I HOPE THAT WOMEN WHO GOT YOU WILL DIE….I NEVER GET JEALOUS WHEN ANOTHER WOMEN IS BETTER THAN ME…I ONLY GET JEALOUS IF THEY TOUCH MY GUY….LOL..
I am having trouble with a group of girls I work with. They go to lunch together all the time and don’t invite me. I’ll be sitting there while they discuss their plans and they just don’t bother with me. If I try to act like a big girl I just catch up with them in the cafeteria, but then they leave me sitting there, still eating and just leave without saying anything to me. It makes me feel reallt bad. I don’t mind eating alone, but it’s rude. I just don’t think they care or that they even like me. One girl is the frontrunner. Tge others just follow her, but still. I often think she’s jealous of me but idk why or what I’ve done. This has been going on for months, since we moved to a new office. And sometimes when I walk in they don’t even say hi to me, but they say hi to almost everyone else. I’m starting to get depressed aboutbthis. She doesn’t even look at me when passing in tge hall but when everyone else is around she acts nice enough. Idk what to do. I can eat alone or find others, but remember m, I’m sharing an office with them. It’s so uncomfortable, I’m starting to hate work. I want to call them out so badly. I did so once, respectfully but they just denied. I go home and this is all I think about. Please help.
Hi Anonymous,
I had this happen to me too however it was because I was different – not the same ethnic background as these ladies and they would just want to talk in their first language. Rude. Sounds like you work with a bunch of bitches. (excuse my language.) You also sound like a nice/sensitive person if getting depressed from them not saying hi or good morning to you has upset and depressed you. Look how mean they are to you, do you really want to hang out and associate yourself with this type of group? Perhaps speak louder when you say hello, assert yourself. I myself would rather eat alone and enjoy my own company. I enjoy now being different and mysterious 😉 When I had this sort of thing happen at work, there were some nice male co workers in the office that didn’t mind doing lunch together. Or I would just drive somewhere at lunch and eat in my car enjoying free time on my phone.
Hope that helps! Hand in there.
Jen
The sooner you leave this job…the better for you. It will not resolve itself. Get out of the situation and give your self a better life. They are vicious and consumed with hurting you …at least emotionally. I am so sorry.
This is true! They won’t ever stop. I am physically hurt from females that are jealous. I cannot prove it but the hater opened the large business gate in the morning, she knew I would be closing. The gate fell on my head, twisted my neck, lost consciuosnes, hit my head on black top, gate crashed into my body trapping me. My back was twisted.
I have brain damage and seizures now. They continued on and wrote letters saying that it was bogus and got me thrown off workers comp. Had to get a lawyer. That got resolved, then private insurance cut off.
Now, you tell me? Does it ever stop? No!
OMG, I’m so sorry to hear this Linnie. You know what, Karma is on your side. That is just the worst. It hurts to think this person finds joy in your suffering. I’m so sorry to hear there’s people like this. The best thing you can do is move on the best you can. Be happy. Don’t let anything break your spirit.
XO,
Jen
Yes you need to find a new job. It will not change it only gets worse. They are evil women out there and karma will get back at them someday until then save yourself and leave that place, before it does emotional damage to you like it did to me. praying for you.
It’s sad when someone does not feel good about themselves and reflect there insecurity on you remember it’s nothing that you have done to make someone jellousofyou it’s that you has carisma that’s what they hate it’s the way you carry yourself thats what they hate and that’s what gives me the power to keep myself looking my best giving them something to hate me for
I agree Rosalyn,
insecurity causes all sorts of problems and can affect any environment.
I am a bartender of a local, small bar and grill, with that being said I just recently found out that a lady that I thought really liked me is so crazy jealous over me that she told another friend of mine lies that made it sound like I was messing around with this friends husband that I am also friends with. Viscous lies! So glad this friend decided to tell me because it had really caused problems between husband and her. So now I’m left with this lady that pretends she just absolutely loves me and is always so glad I’m working at the bar when she shows up with her boyfriend, who evidently she is so jealous about as far as im concerned. I mean she goes out of way to see pics of my grandbabies tells me she loves me I have known her forever! It really upsets me that she sees me this way! I would never do anything to hurt her. The friend that told me the truth is no longer friends with lady we are talking about. Because she caused so much heartache for no reason. So what I need to know is… DO I SAY SOMETHING TO THIS LADY OR DO I JUST LET IT GO?? Don’t want to loose customers because they are regulars but Goin to be hard to face her now!
Isn’t it crazy how people will try and “knock someone down” when they feel “threatened”?! It’s hard to say what to do in your situation because business is involved. You should always stick up for yourself, especially because this tarnishes your charter. You don’t want to be known as the person she has described you as. You should confront her and make sure you tell her you heard this lie. The person making lies about you has no problem speaking bad about you. Who knows if this is only the tip of the iceberg of lies. My mom’s own sister treater her this way, nice to her face and couldn’t wait to spread lies and talk bad behind her back. After my mom (God rest her soul) realized her sister had been like this for years, she cut her out of her life and told her to never contact her again. The truth always comes out.
Hi,
I read your blog as I am also experiencing a lot of jealously from other women which is making me sad. I recently left my job due to group bullying from women. The thing is I used to be friends with all of them it was only when a new male co-worker started working that these women changed towards me, they started leaving me out i.e. lunch, whispering about me, giving dirty looks, and just being plain hostile etc….. whenever I asked if I upset anyone the answer would be “no your just reading into things” I was not interested in the new coworker I treated him like any of the other males (and he is married) I put up with the bad behaviour for a long while before I just left my job, I could not take it any more. The atmosphere was so tense and toxic. I started getting panic attacks coming into work. It was hard to prove their behaviour as it was also so covert and I would look like I am just being petty. The thing is I also started a new evening class and the same thing is happening. To be honest I have had this a lot from women over the years but not to this extent. I don’t know what to do anymore because I cannot just keep leaving everywhere I go. I am very friendly and always make the effort to get to know others however, even if they are friendly at first they soon drop me and huddle together in groups and leave me out. Sometimes these women are married sometimes single. I also notice that sometimes they will start wearing make up around me or start to copy my style. I have very few friends as the behaviour of some of them has been down right mean and nasty. It does not seem to matter if I know them for years or just meet them they somehow betray me, spread lies about me or be hostile. I do not have a partner so I am pretty much on my own. I looked on the website for help. Some how I thought this would get easier as I got older I’m in my 40’s but it hasn’t. Please help
Hi Anonymous 2,
I have learned that the more beautiful, happy, and successful you are, it’s seen as a threat to insecure unhappy women. I have had best friends that too have spread lies about me and even back stabbed me. One even came forward and said it was because they were just jealous. I’m also a sweetheart and when women realize I’m not a stuck up b**** it’s unbelievable to them. They assume I will be mean or “too good for them to talk to” but I have realized this andy try to be nice as possible to get that out of their head. Even when you think you win them over as a friend, I sometimes experience they gain satisfaction if they hear something unfortunate comes my way. They want to cut you off while you’re driving, they want to see you suffer any way possible. It’s disgusting. You have to be strong and laugh at the situation. Sometimes I walk into work looking like 1 million dollars and radiate happiness and I laugh because I know it’s making someone pissed off in the building. All you can do is be a good person and know in your heart that the lies are fake. Anyone that’s worth your time will get to know the real you and be your friend. I have cut out so many people in my life that try to bring me down. Just keep true to yourself, take care of yourself and ignore the mean nasty jealous women. You cannot keep running away from the problem, you have to eventually take it head on. Eat lunch by yourself, don’t dwell in their misery. When it comes to work, Just speak up to the individuals you work with and try to work closer with them.
I hope that helps!
Jen
Hi Jen ! I’m so glade that I came across you blog. You simply amazing! You give great advise. I have also been dealing with jealous women at my job. They both started working there before me, and had already established a friendship before I came along. They were not friendly at first and it took time before they warmed up to me. After some time, One of the girls started to come around and talk to me & at least speak on a daily daily basis. The other girl on the other hand, is very antisocial with me. She speaks to everyone else and makes small talk with them, but she won’t part her lips to talk or speak to me. So as time has passed, I’ve realized that she is jealous of me. The other is too, but she covers it up really good. Every thing I wear, the next thing you know one of them is wearing it. If I get a new hairstyle then they go get a similar style. The both of them engage in meaningless conversations about food all day, and a lot of other crap so I started coming to work and putting my head phones in as soon as I sit down. I know they hate it ! But I do on purpose & so I won’t have to listen to them talk all day. Every sine I started doing that, my performance at work is great. I out perform them on purpose so that I can interact with them as less as possible & put my work first. At first I used to not speak to them like they didn’t speak to me. But my husband said that’s what they want you do & not to scoop down to their level. So now I speak in the morning & glide by them with my hair swinging and keep it moving. While everyone gives me compliments, they never do. I always tell people they look nice or if something their wearing is cute. I think they are jealous of me because I’m younger then them, I’m smaller than them, I’m married,I’m a hard worker, and my husband loves keeping me looking like a million bucks. I can’t help it if my outter appearance is intimidating. I’m not flashy or conceited, I’m just me. They never really took the time to get to know the real me, they just judged me based of off material pocessions. They were wrong for that. And they let it go on for way to long. It used to bother me , but I’m stronger now. Now that I know their just some big bitter ******* ! Now I come to work and talk about working out & staying fit for my husband, now they want to bring headphones to work ! Lol. Now they want to be friendly & talk to me but I don’t give them the time of day. I speak and keep it moving. Out performing them is the best revenge! They can eat lunch together if they want too, I wouldn’t give a damn. They never asked & I’m glad. What I’ve learned is that you have to be true to yourself & big the bigger person in situations like this. Don’t let petty people get you. But most importantly, don’t ever forget the difference between friends and coworkers. My husband tells me all the time “they are not your friends” And he is correct. Real women don’t hate on other women,and I never do. So to all of you going through this , please keep your head lifted and be glad someone is jealous of you. Find a way to turn negativity into positivity.
XoXoXo Jas
Hey Giiiiirl! 🙂
OMG yes. “THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS” You can be as sweet and respectful but once jealous bitter B****** judge and decide they don’t like you – end of story. Keep your head up and be thankful you’re not like them. You sound like a great person and it’s too bad your work place has been not friendly. I think it’s too funny when they start copying your style. Keep doing an A+ job at work. I think you handled the situation perfectly. lol. Especially ignoring them. You go girl. I hope those ladies change their ways and don’t do that to the next person that joins the team.
Jen
You sound just like me. I’m almost 48 years old, and still have no girlfriends, because of this. It’s shameful, because I’m a very loyal and great friend, but women just don’t give me the chance, automatic jealousy. I wish you lived in the DMV so we could chat, great to know there is someone else out there like me.
Yes, even my beautiful big hearted mother had this problem at age 50. I was her only true close friend, her daughter. She has passed away but her last years were torn because of her jealous sister. Her sister became furiously jealous of her when my mom was the manager of a family run store, soon after the sister tried to turn everyone against my mother. My mother one day overheard her own sister saying terrible lies about her. It broke my moms heart. My mom did nothing but try to help her sister, she even paid her when she couldn’t afford to pay herself at the store. The store soon fell apart and her sister would talk shit about my mom. She even sent her a horrible email one day belting my mother. My mom had nothing to do with her after that day. Sadly, my mom came down with cancer and quickly passed. The most kindest woman I have ever met, my mom and she was full of hurt from her own sister. I understand what you’re probably going through, just keep being a good person and someday you’ll meet someone like yourself and stick together. Its a rare flock of birds. 🙂
Thank you so much for this article. It’s just what I was looking for. It’s so nice to know so many other women deal with these same issues. I’m even dealing with them from men because if they can’t be with you they will come against you. I’m in tears reading all the comments but very encouraged as well. I feel so much better. Being pretty does hurt, and can be very lonely. Thanks again xoxox Carla
Good luck Carla,
thanks for reading
Jen
If you have so many people jelous over you, it sounds like you are doing something right! Maybe you are really pretty or very articulate.I have had plenty of girls jelous of me, it makes it hard bc I feel sabotaged from suceeding at work or making friends in certain places. It helps to proactivy try to make friends with the girls, but sometimes that is impossible. If someone is jelous, strut your stuff and shine even harder.
Wow! I’m dealing with same situation in my work place. The ring leader is a older women(70’s) she has been a thorn in my a***** since I came to the location. Looking me up and down, watching my every move, lying on me to the boss. I think she has voodoo on his dum behind. The younger coworkers are rude and nasty. Sometimes the younger ones are the worst. I’m in my 40’s and have always had this problem. These situations can be emotionally damaging long term. Difficult to find friends, they are cool at first then start to become jealous. Mess! I find the best thing to do is have your own business. The corporate world is full of damage insecure women who use the work place as a punching bag.
You’re just like me, I’m in my late 30s and I encounter this everywhere too. I’ve come to the conclusion self employment is the way to go – I’ve still encountered it, but I have more power because it’s my own company and I get to decide who I work with. I bet you have special talents you could turn into a business. Have a think about it. But make sure you raise your self-esteem a bit beforehand perhaps via books and counselling, as well as getting business support so that you are clear about your way forward in all the right ways, because you will still encounter them, they just won’t be able to take your job away 😉 Back yourself up legally on every level and always act with integrity. They’ll get nowhere. Good luck and love to you, I hear you sister! xx
Hi Jen,
Thank you for posting such an important post. I’d like to share my experience with you.
I’ve recently got my PhD. I’m the youngest PhD-holder at my workplace. Since then, I’ve been ignored and abandoned by many of my colleagues. I can understand. One of them was always very distant from me. She wasn’t even say hi except rarely. After I got my PhD, she didn’t even say congratulations.
This girl entered to a room I was in today. I was sitting far away from the door. She greeted everyone but me and I didn’t even bother to stand up or even wave to her. Later this day, she stopped me in front of 2 other colleagues and kinda of bullied me. She yelled at me saying I don’t say hello to anyone and that I’m the only distant one in the workplace. She made a notice that I’m kind of arrogant and show off, and that saying hi is a modest thing to do. Then she left without even waiting for me to reply! The other 2 girls were laughing and they asked me what’s wrong?! I just smiled and said: I Don know really! Then I left.
Hi Jessy!
First of all, congrats on your PhD! It sounds like you’re not only dealing with some jealous ladies, but also immature ladies as well. LOL. Sometimes when you’re an over achiever, or just super gorgeous – people will just assume you’re stuck up or “out of their league” to even talk to. Seem familiar? I have always noticed this especially in women. What I always do is try to be extra nice and talk to the people that act this way – they may feel insecure around you! You have to be the one to be modest and talk to them on the same level. Sooner or later you’ll win them over. However this has happened to me and just when I think they finally like me and appreciate my humble nature, they back stab. It gives them pleasure seeing someone who “has it all” suffer. It’s really sad but true. Just be glad that you’re you and not miserable as they are. Good luck!
Hi Jen, I was hoping you could give me some advice on dealing with a jealous sister in law who lives with me? She is my boy friends brothers wife and ever since I’ve began dating my boyfriend, she’s given me lots of bad vibes. I’m 18 and she is 5 years older than me with two kids, so I can’t understand why she would waste her time being jealous of and playing games with me. It all started when it was just me and her alone one day and she randomly told me to stay away from her husband (my boyfriends brother), although I hardly talk to him, only when my boyfriend is around. She said that and then walked away. Ever since then she’s kept her distance from me, no matter how much I’ve tried to build a good relationship with her. It’s been almost two years now and it’s even gotten to the point where she has cut up my clothes and stolen many of them. Including some other belongings. I know it’s her because no one else in the house would do that to my posessions, and I’ve actually found some of my belongs with hers but she denys taking them and says I’m making it up. I’ve tried to brush it off and be as nice as possible, but she spreads lies about me to my boyfriends family, she stares at me constantly in a very threatening way, she purposely bumps into me when I walk in the hallway, she even told me I wasn’t invited to her daughters birthday (my boyfriends niece) and made up some excuse that she doesn’t want “drama”. I’m a quiet person who usually keeps to myself so everyone knows I would not start drama. I have never treated her the way she treats me and I have never caused drama towards her. Never. I’ve always tried to ignore the way she acts towards me. I’ve always brushed it off but now it’s really getting under my skin. The one time Ive confronted her about always staring at me, she threatened to start a fight with me so I walked away, shut my bedroom door, and she was punching it telling me to come out. She even made it seem like she was the victim of that incident when I told my boyfriend about it, who told his brother. My boyfriends family asked her why she doesn’t like me and she said it’s because I “accused” her of stealing my clothes. Although she’s always obviously disliked me before that incident. There’s many other things she’s done that are too long to list and I can’t stand it anymore. It’s as if she’s making an effort to make my life a living hell. If you could give me some advice on how to deal with her, it would be very much appreciated, espically since her and her husband are living with us temporarily for I don’t know how much longer. Thank you so much for any advice you could offer. 🙂
Hi Anonymous 3,
OMG. Right off the bat that’s an intense living situation. You guys need to move! It sounds like her man has cheated on her in the past or she is very insecure of feels threatened by you. Yikes! For her to have words with you to “stay away from her husband” that’s a RED FLAG that perhaps she has caught him looking at you or she does not trust either of you. (very sad) It’s not your problem its hers. If she does not have trust in her relationship – she does not have a relationship – plain and simple fact. I’m scared she might try to hurt you. She sounds very insecure and jealous as hell! I’m gonna say some prayers for you girl! I believe her family knows she’s a little “crazy” How could she bad mouth you when she’s living with you. There’s something that does not add up with her. She may resent the fact that she’s in a hopeless relationship and now living condition. It seems like she’s emotional and kind of a monster. Not a real “treat” to talk to is she… misery likes company. It would be nice to only be around her in the presence of your boyfriend so you have a witness. If any more incidents happen, you all need to have a group meeting and state the facts that are going on You will need to forgive her because someday you may be real sister-in laws if you get married. Don’t let her see you hurt. It’s what her crazy mind wants. Does she not have any friends? Is there anything you two could do to bond? The next time she stares at you.. lol I would tell her she’s your biggest fan. lol. Have fun with it. Blow her a kiss. Try to have your friends come over to the house is what I recommend the most! Have some back up, most important they can be your witnesses. Invite your mom, anyone! Try to get everyone talking to find peace. I hope that jealous woman leaves you alone and hopefully you can help her pack! lol. Keep me posted!
XO Jen
Let me share some insight with you presumably beautiful ladies. Here is what took me some 20 years of womanhood as a very naturally mainstream attractive female, who wears no makeup and is ultra low maintenance, to figure out.
Jealous females don’t “KNOW” that we are telling ourselves that we are the fairest of them all. Jealous females “ASSUME” we are telling ourselves that we are the fairest of them all. You know why? Wait for it…. Because that’s what THEY would be telling THEMSELVES had THEY the good fortune of your genes. THEY would be in front of the mirror all day. THEY would be stealing boyfriends and husbands. THEY would flaunting their looks.
So when jealous females start in toward you with the “You think you’re so great” accusations, realize that she is simply saying: “If I looked like you, I would be so damn cocky.” Her assuming that you are a “stuck up -itch” is really nothing more than a confession as to the nature of HER own character.
And realize this beautiful ladies. There are murderers, sadists, kidnappers, child abusers, etc. In the jealous female mind, you are considered more enemy to her than the lowest of the planet’s low. Jealous females have virtually no perspective. Their rage at the sight of you just throws them into a state of irrational thought, anxiety, fear, anger. You are the worst member of society. Not the child molester down the street. Not the man who cheated on her and gave her herpes. You. You are who she resents most. It’s irrational. And because it has everything to do with HER primal brain, there is not a darn thing you could do except lay down and die that is going to calm her rage where you are concerned. That’s why a beautiful woman is usually a lonely woman. Most females are of this competitive nature. Most women are not good looking. So most women are prone to fits of jealousy. And the jealous character just can’t be comfortable around a woman she sees as competition.
So learn to live solo as best you can. No not ALL women are like that. Just most. And sure you will come across the self confident women who doesn’t feel threatened by your presence. Hope these confident women have room in their life for you. But in the meantime, live your best solo life possible and stay away from a woman who gives off patternized signs of jealousy. Jealous women not only will make every effort to get you fired from your job so they don’t have to be subject to the sight of you. They will gladly meddle in your personal affairs. And sometimes, they can just be downright dangerous and sadistic. I’m still convinced that Jessica Chambers was murdered by a jealous female who maybe had aid from a male. That’s precisely the kind of thing an enraged off-kilter female could be expected to do. They really are out of their minds at time with resentment for being considered ugly by mainstream standards.
And try not to lean on men as alternatives to who would otherwise have been women surrounding you. Its pretty much a guarantee that any man hanging around you will only be pretending to be your friend in hopes of eventually sleeping with you. These are not “friends”, but sneaky predators who do not give a crap about you. And sometimes guys will even try to hurt you on purpose by backstabbing you and siding up against you with jealous females. Especially if he finds out that you’re never going to give him any or you decide to stop giving him some. This is not uncommon. It is something you need to expect and be aware of to protect yourself.
Remember, beautiful women, sadly, are perceived by most other women as public enemy #1 and by men as target prey #1. Never mind what you see on TV. Beautiful women are not placed on pedestals. Observe and remember your own experiences and base your need to protect yourself on that reality.
Jenn, Love your name 😉
Yes, you are right. A lovely woman is “enemy #1” It’s so sad, yes I agree. A beautiful woman is a lonely woman. Nobody will ever feel comfortable keeping her as a close friend. It’s too much of an insecurity for other women. Yikes. I completely agree with everything you just mentioned. I know your comment will help a lot of ladies out there. I may have to take your comment and place it into the main blog post. Thank you for contributing.
Have a great day! XO Jen
To be fair, if a woman keeps mentioning how accomplished she is and brags all the time about how everyone is hitting on her and so on, it is only going to make her appear arrogant and highly insecure at the same time. No one likes such people, and that has got nothing to do with jealousy.
I have noticed that women who actually ARE accomplished and good-looking don’t have to constantly say it out loud. It’s only the ones who know deep down inside that they aren’t all that who do it.
If, on the other hand, you are simply sharing with your friend some good things, such as describing an enjoyable trip or getting accepted into graduate school, and she starts putting you down shortly after…well, in such a case there is no doubt she IS jealous.
Whew!!! Thank you…..
I loved reading this. I’ve dealt with nasty women most of my life, and I’ve also noticed that some men also will try to bring me down. And yes, I’ve seen some who will side with their jealous girlfriend, or their jealous friends who are girls. It’s usually quite obvious that I’m way out of their league.
Also, weak men don’t like strong women. They see us as threatening because we can see right through them and how weak they are.
So as strong, beautiful women we need to protect ourselves, and look out for each other as well.
Woo hoo Sierra,
you hit the nail on the head again. Reminds me when I went to the store and some chick checked me out head to toe and started kissing her man… He checks me out and she starts talking shit about me and he agrees… I’m like…really? What if I was a little old lady walking by? Would all that weirdness still would have happened. lol. I doubt it…
Jen
That happensto me! I’m walking down the street, a couple approach in the other direction and as they get near me, suddenly the girl grabs the guy and kisses him! I’m like ‘what?’. Sometimes the guy pre-empts it and does it first, but it is so weird. And desperate! I don’t even know them. It happens a lot, too many people are very insecure, and they also need to realise that love isn’t ownership.
I have had this my life and at 45 it’s not getting any better ! Yes I am above average in looks but life has not been kind to me 🙁 my looks have earned me a good living but having no real close friends is very depressing, people jump to conclusions about me without even talking to me..I am a social outcast and have just got used to it over time.
Hi
You said that women want you to see them judging you. Why do you think that is?
Wouldn’t it be embarrassment on their part knowing that you can tell that you notice them judging …
Also why do you believe a smile at them would work well?
I would appreciate your help with this.
Kind regards
Julie
Hi Julie,
When women want you to see them looking you up and down giving you a dirty look, it’s considered (defiantly to me) disrespectful. Even today at work in the office hallways, a woman looked me up and down and didn’t even talk to me and we were both going to the ladies room. I’m like….really? At least say hello. No manners. Smile back at them, it’s only polite to show you’re aware. A smile shows confidence. 🙂
Jen
Hi Thank you for the advice, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, there is a group of women who wrote on my car, stole my earnings spread lies about me, they set me up to get jumped in a fight and put me in a hospital also had someone pull a gun on me in my car. They will not work with me in service, they have alienated me from my religion,stopping me to participate in certain activities, it was so bad I had a nervous breakdown. It was so bad I developed a numbness in my body. Somehow I got better, feeling and looking better, I lost weight my hair grew down my back and now they are worst, all the things that you mentioned in your list above. I will try to do what you advised, but these women are crazy and super jealous to the point of violence!!!
Kim – Giiiiiirl,
Oh my God. No pun intended. I’m sorry to hear this is the worst case I have heard of yet. They pulled a gun on you? Put you in the hospital? Have you pressed charges on these ladies? It sounds like you need to get the police involved. If anything is stressing you out in life, you need to leave it alone and let it be. Walk away. Why put yourself through that much torture. Do you really want to stay within this circle of ladies? It sounds like it will only get worse Kim. Honestly, I would try and get out of that environment as fast as possible. I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of flaunting your confidence and self awareness in their eyes as mentioned in my tips. It sounds like it would just get more dangerous. These people need God more than anyone else it seems, why is that? Best of luck to you Kim. Glad your health is better. Please take care and nurture yourself. Don’t let them get the best of you. I’m sure you already know that!
Jen
Hi, I just have a question for other ladies out there. Over the last few months I have become friends with a man at work. Long story short we aren’t a “couple” at the moment and are just getting to know each other but i get “back off” vibes from a female friend of his when she is around.She is nice and friendly to talk to though. They help each other out with different things but he is adamant that he isn’t interested in a romantic relationship with her even though she was. It seems to me that she is “waiting it out”? These situations are all new to me being that i am widowed after a long successful marriage. Any thoughts? We are both around age 50.
Hi June,
Perhaps this lady feels it’s inappropriate to have a work relationship or maybe she STILL has a crush on him and she’s sour seeing you adore him, it’s hard to guess. I also hope your male co worker does not string you along and you don’t become the same ill fate of the lady you mentioned. I hope that lady isn’t “waiting it out” it’s the saddest heart ache. If a man really wants you, he’ll pursue you and nothing will stand in the way. And you should never have to guess if you’re in a relationship. Best of luck to you. I hope you get your man! 🙂
Hi Jen, thanks for the quick response. I just needed an objective view of the situation. I have decided to stay out of the way because he can contact me if he wants to see me outside of work. I am getting on with meeting new people and improving my health etc.I will let you know if there are any new developments but i suspect he is happy just being friends. 🙂
Jealous women will use your own kids to hurt your feelings…mock you in front of your kids…make jokes about you to them…encourage your kids against you
It’s generally my experience that there are two types of jealous women: 1. the type that want you to know that they don’t like you and the 2. the type that DO NOT want you to know that they dislike you. In my opinion, type; is the worst, because these women seem friendly they’ll smile at you, be kind to you, attempt to befriend you and then talk shit about you behind your back, out anything you told them in confidence and seriously try to fuck up your personal and work life. It’s sad. Jealous women manifest in all sorts of difference ways, their methods of punishment as unique as they are. Beware, just because a woman says she’s your friend and has your back, does not make it so. I’ve been morbidly obese and “the safe fat friend” and I have been the “skinny bitch” who threatens women. Both were horrible. I never get jealous of women who are prettier, in better shape than me: I learn from them. I’ve had women assume horrible things about me because of my physical attractiveness, mostly that I have no backbone and will do whatever they want. Fuck ’em. My favorite thing about myself is that I don’t need people.
Hi Tiffany,
YES! It’s a real bummer to think you have a friend you can trust but secretly they’re jealous of you and want to ruin your life somehow. “Their methods of punishment” yes! You hit the nail on the head. It’s amazing the fake smiles they will gift you in exchange for a future back stab.
I can usually detect these backstabbers when they’re not happy when you give them good news about your own life. They will feel like it’s a personal competition or threat. The next thing you know, they’re researching how to sabotage any new happiness in your life. It’s interesting that you have been both “the skinny bitch” and “safe fat friend” you have seen it all!
Thank you for sharing your story!
Jen
I’ve found size has nothing to do with it. In fact it’s even worse because men care less about size than we might imagine – it’s women who on the pressure on each other. If we’re larger and still look nice we mess up the heads of the women who are still tied to the view that thin is the only form of beauty and that fat is always ugly. I was once thin and now I’m a larger woman nothing has changed, in fact it seems to have increased. As a larger woman, we’re not allowed to be attractive/dress up nice, certainly not to men (look how long it took the fashion industry to catch up to the plus size market) and it can make the jealousy worse because the women who base their self-worth around being thin are forced to look beyond dress size, and look at themselves inside…
Thank you for this. For writing the truth. Life is full of irony tho isn’t it? Being beautiful brings out the ugly side of human nature? Being, doing or looking your best brings out the worst in others? I finally understand. Every gift seems to come with a curse. Looks, brains, personality. If you have all three (the perfect trifecta) you become a triple threat & inspire an inferiority complex in others. And the vast majority of people, whether they realize it or not, suffer from the sins of pride & vanity (Satan’s greatest sins). They desperately need to feel superior. Well, if you happen to make them feel inferior just by your mere presence, they feel you have disrespected them. It makes them hostile & retaliate by disrespecting you (ignoring, arguing, gossiping, sabotaging). Meanwhile you’re just being yourself, trying your best to make it through another day and find some happiness. But they can’t stand to see you happy, enjoying your God given gifts & getting attention that they desperately want all for themselves. This is all happening on the spiritual level. Ever wonder why the behavior patterns are so remarkably the same? It’s instinctive & it’s from the reptilian brain. The reptilian brain goes back to the serpent and the fruit of forbidden knowledge. The forbidden knowledge was to believe that we are like God & therefore we don’t need God. Consequently, we put ourselves in God’s place. This is the beautiful lie which has spawned all kinds of evil, hatred & destruction. Why is this relevant? Because this explains what happens when people are Godless. Instead of being God-centered, they are self-centered. Therefore, everything is about me, myself & I. That’s why your success becomes their failure. Your happiness becomes their misery. It’s all twisted because of the beautiful lie. We are not God. If we can’t understand that simple truth, we understand nothing.
Amen! Great words of truth and wisdom. Thank you for sharing. I agree 100% with everything you stated.
Jen
i’m going through that right now a jealous woman when i’m around or walking by i always catch that one woman eyes on me an in ur list of knowing a jealous i’m going through #1 ,#2 ,#3,#10 ,#14 and #20 on that list
Hi Tina,
Sorry to hear that. Try walking with a friend walk nearby you in public and have them observe who’s checking you out too. It’s crazy to find out what’s going on when you’re not looking.
I’m so glad I came across this blog, I been dealing with my older sister in law (15 years older than me). For what ever reason it seems like she can’t stand me. We used to be so close. She’s used to having all the attention in her family and with the years it seems like some days she dislikes me more than other days. I’ve caught her rolling her eyes at me when I turn around. Make sighting noises like I annoy her. If the conversation is not about her & her family she’s over it. She’s the best at everything & her family is the best. If you do anything automatic your copying her. Now a days it’s gotten so bad that she ignores me & doesn’t even want to look at me. At this point I’m truly over it and I try not to let her get under my skin but I’m not going to lie it’s difficult. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want things to get worse but I’m also not going to kiss up to her in order to make her feel less threatened. Am I crazy or is there something not right here. Is anyone else dealing with this..
Hi Ashley,
Always go with your gut feeling. She could see you as competition rather than a non threatening friend. True this is your family – in-laws. Anyone that has to make noises around you is being very passive aggressive. She may also think “her sh!t doesn’t stink” sorry but you know what I mean right? 😉 Those people you just have to deal with to maintain the peace in the family. Sorry Ashley. I hope the situation gets better.
I’m dealing with two jealous sister in laws :(. It’s awful. Can’t even talk to my husband about it as we’ve ended up in big arguments because of them. It just makes my heart sink. They are also really passive agressive. One of them said to me that they liked my dress today in front of a big group of people. But I know she said it so she doesn’t look bad. I know her true feelings. She’s always checking me out and had slowly started changing her hair colour to blonde like mine. She is younger than me 23 I’m 40. Her husband is 46. It all started with her telling me I was very fat ( I was pregnant ). Since then she’s said other stuff and even insulted my son when he was 2 years old. Gosh Ive never spoken to anyone about jealous women and it’s refreshing. My sister was jealous of me too but at least she admitted it eventually 🙁
My sister in law ( husbands sister ) is awful too. She never says hello to me when I walk in and only warms to me if I do whatever she wants.
As a girl who grew up with the most gorgeous talented older sister who was adored by everyone, I grew up learning how to adapt and cope with the jealousy trait early on. Although I do admit as being human we will always feel this emotion however long or short. After years of living in my sisters shadow I finally ‘blossomed’ into my own womanhood, got into some modeling in my 20s, got two degrees,traveled the world, and make a good income .. I actually feel the tables turned now in adulthood and my sister is constantly never saying congrats or anything positive when I accomplish something. I played BOTH sides, the one being consumed with jealously, as well as the one causing jealousy with other girls and coworkers (omg coworkers are the worst)
All the advice I can give is if you notice someone being jealous is to BE KIND TO THEM. People are jealous because you have something they want, take it as a form of flattery and be grateful. Give them compliments and help them boost their own self esteem. That is true beauty. I’ve always tried to make people who feel jealous more relaxed around me and even try to help them with their own beauty routines or share beauty tips if we talk about makeup etc. i try to share how I earned my success and give others tips for school and success at work. Its a Win/Win situation! I know how it feels to be jealous and envious and it’s one of the most horrible feelings…to know I would cause that feeling for someone else just really sucks. The feeling is because people always feel they’re not good enough.
BUT, if someone is purposefully trying to be aggressive, beat down your spirit or hurt you because of jealously…I say stand your ground and make them regret it.
Ps, didn’t agree with that part where you pointed out HUGE 40 yr old Hispanic woman.. race, age and weight have nothing to do with what makes someone beautiful or disgusting.. Just sayin. And no I’m not huge, 40 or Hispanic.
Great feedback from someone on both sides of the coin. Great tips. I hope things are better now between you and your sister.
thank you for visiting XO!
Jen
Wow. I’d dealt with the staring and having them turn others against me. One co-worker turned the other 5 against me after I stopped letting her use me for rides to work she didn’t need. She had 2 cars and one of them was brand new. She used the “I let my boyfriend use the new car to drive to work and the old car needs to be repaired excuse.” I saw giving her a ride as no big deal at first since she lived 5 minutes from me and I drove past her apartment on my way to work.
She then took the liberty to invite another co-worker who was a crack user into MY car. That was when I drew the line! After I told her I could no longer give either of them a ride she turned on me.
The next thing I knew I was being mocked and mistreated on a daily basis by her and all my other female co-workers. She told them about the incident and made ME out to be the bad person.
A little after I stopped giving her rides to work ANOTHER new co-worker became miffed with me for not giving HER a ride, and I DID NOT even know this woman. We lived in the same apartment building and she used to catch the bus to work. She told the other ladies(in front of me) how I drove right past her(which is MY RIGHT) and didn’t offer her a ride. Hmmm…I had no idea that I OWED TOTAL STRANGERS a ride to work. SMH
However she was getting around before she realized I existed needed to be the same way she KEPT getting around. I still haven’t figured out what her personal transportation situation had to do with ME!
When I told mys sister what was going on I had to talk her out of coming up there. She was non too please about the incident. My sister is nice, but she’s not shy or timid about expressing herself or taking up for her family members.
I ended up being let go from that job(it was a sales job and I failed to meet monthly quotas). It was a blessing in disguise. I was able to get unemployment for a while which ended up being the icing on the cake. I did not have to be around those vile women and I got paid for it while they were stressed and staring at each other crossways trying to figure out how to get to work.
All that stress and drama because of one evil jealous female. Her name is Evelyn but I will always refer to her as EVIL. She had the audacity to shove me as hard as she could(you know how women walk by and bump you intentionally). It took all my strength not to slam her head into a wall, but I’m actually NOT violent and I don’t roll like that. That’s HER level of intelligence.
She had the audacity to say that life would pay ME back?! LOL. God and “life” have been WONDERFUL to me since that day. Not only has God and “life” been marvelously GOOD to me and continued to bless me and meet ALL of my needs since that time, but I still have my health, a wonderful beautiful family and friends that love and adore me and I could NEVER ask for a better life. As for Miss Evil I have no doubt that “life” will get HER back and is probably giving her her payouts even as I speak. Being envious DOES NOT pay. One day hell will swallow her up. Sad but true. You can’t sow trash and reap treasure.
Hi Liza,
Oh my goodness, you’ve been through an ordeal! Did you have “taxi cab driver” in your job description because those women felt entitled to it. I’m amazed at your story. No good deed goes unpunished. How nice of you to offer a ride and then get treated like a free public transportation provider. This woman felt entitled to your car and it sounds like she didn’t show much appreciation. How un classy of her to invite another lady without even asking you. Very rude. Then she plays the victim bad mouthing you to the other employees. Anyone that works there and realizes you did that as a favor would give you kudos. It’s not your responsibility to provide transportation. It’s your vehicle.
First of all, to the first lady why do you let your boyfriend drive your car? If you’re dating a real man, he has his own vehicle. OK? She’s probably dating a no good loser and taking it out on you. How embarrassing.
Anyone that does not have their own transportation for a job, needs to get their priorities in check furthermore.
It sounds like you were dealing with a bunch of self-entitled babies. So glad you’re out of there and on to bigger and better things.
Lesson learned here – some people will see kindness as weakness. So sad but true. I hope you keep your head up and don’t have to deal with that kind of negativity again. Hugs my dear. Thank you for sharing.
Jen
I’m currently going through this new stage in my life where girls show me jealousy and want to compete with me. Although I don’t perceive myself as beautiful, I get frequently told that I am. I used to be an ugly duckling and this new found jealousy is slightly shocking. I love dressing up and a random woman took the time out of her day to insult me and I was so taken aback. I truly feel alone. There is this perception that pretty girls know that they’re pretty and are therefore rude but this is simply not true. I am a sweet person but I find myself being drained from the negativity. I hope to find the sass within me lol. Girls hate you for being “better” and guys just want to fuck. SO FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY
Hiya Steph!!
Yes, I too was an ugly duckling braces and all…lol. These “scars” we have keep us “down to earth” I still feel like the shy girl I was in middle school sometimes. When I got into high school, things got better…lol boys started to notice me and my girl friends became jelly. I still felt incredibly shy and awkward. This was all new to me lol. This secret little world of women, where women see every other woman as a threat. I’ve tried to explain to my fiancé many times..lol. Stay sweet my friend. A woman that is truly kind hearted and beautiful is a diamond. When you meet a real man that sees value in that (after he’s dated the rude selfish bitches out there) he will make time for you and only you. The key is patience and not settling for anyone that disrespects you. Men may see you for simply pleasure, it’s sad but true – however the right one will think you’re more than that – an amazing woman.
Don’t be a fast food burger that’s easy to get and leaves you hungry, be a diamond – hard to obtain and rare.
Trust me, you don’t want a bunch of girlfriends that hate on your and backstab you – I’ve had that… I got a dog and keep to myself lol.
Good luck! XO Jen
Hi Jen and everyone
I’m so moved by all your stories. I just dropped in for information to help me deal with jealous women. But I just wanted to express my admiration for all you sweet ladies who are so badly treated.
I was very much the Cinderella in my family. Grew up believing I was just so much ‘less’ than them all. Thought I was all wrong. It’s taken me all my life to realize the game they were playing. I just never knew. I find great companionship from husband and animals now. But sometimes their game is so well played its all you know. I believed my feminity was ‘pathetic’, ’emotional’. It’s such an awakening. Understanding helps a lot.
I also would advise reading a good body language book. It’s incredibly helpful in bringing up your assertive behaviors. It’s very easy to unknowingly give off ‘I’m a doormat’ vibes without knowing it! I was! Corrected body language can have the power to change everything. I think you will be amazed, I was! Hope this helps! Laurel
A girl lives near my house jealous of me a lot.She also goes to my academy.She tells my mom about my negative aspects i.e; When I did not learn my lesson she tells my mom.Please help me.She made my life difficult.
Hi Ali,
This girl sounds annoying. Why would she “tell on you” to your mom? There could be many reasons. Perhaps she want you to bribe her not to tell your mom. Maybe her mother talks good about you and she wants to tarnish your reputation? Maybe she wants to just make your life miserable. I don’t know why women get such a high mistreating other women like this. It could be that she’s unhappy in her own life and wants misery for company. I’m so sorry. You have to avoid her and make new friends. Sorry.
Yes. My boyfriend sister is a mean jealous woman she is jealous of me. She sents me real mean text messages even thought i have no relationship eith me. She dorsnot have any onecin her life. Her brothrr kisses her behind and forsnot see nothing she foes wrong that is one reason i called off my engagment to him. Her brother is a nice person but the sister a evil witch
It seems weird for a sister to be jealous of another woman regarding her own brother. Maybe it’s best you ended the relationship because you would have married into a miserable family situation. Maybe one day he will realize what his sister has cost him. So sorry.
Jen
Thank you for this! I get the evil-eye very often. I used to be so insecure and wonder why me, what’s wrong with me etc., now I realize it’s NOT my fault. I’ve found it helpful to smile to myself happily and walk confidently. If they’re being really blatant about glaring though I visibly stand taller and smile right at them. When they do it so you can see it, they’re trying to intimidate you. So, when you show them it won’t work, they either just stare dumbfounded or 9 times out of 10 will slink back into the shadows.
On a cruise I went on with my fiance there were 3 younger (21-22ish) girls in bikinis who openly glared at me. I’m 34 but look to be in my mid-20s. I was wearing shorts and at-shirt over my bikini, and when the girls wouldn’t stop glaring angrily I did the worst thing possible to them: I removed my shorts and t-shirt to reveal my bikini, smiling a satisfactory grin as I did so. My fiance got a real kick out of that. Immediately they all looked stricken then turned away. I couldn’t help but mutter “yeah, enjoy.” under my breath.
I think the key thing is to remember they wouldn’t be glaring/staring if you didn’t look great, and don’t let them intimidate you. When they glare openly they are TRYING to make you feel inferior so you go away. Don’t do it. If they get loud or violent just smirk and walk away slowly and confidently, leaving them sputtering and screeching because they know you’ve won.
Hi Kerry!
I love what you wrote. It’s NOT your fault. Love yourself and stand tall. Yes, smile right back at them because their “intimidation tactics” are a fool’s game. It’s fun to say hi to them and break the ice. Compliment them on their purse or anything you like. Sometimes they will let their guard down and charm you.
You’re a winner! I love that. Have a great day, I loved reading this. I hope it helps others.
Jen 🙂
Thanks so much for this article!!! It has confirmed things I already knew, and it has given me support.
The one thing I’ve noticed though is that when you make eye contact with these jealous women, they seem to think that they have made you uncomfortable, and seem to enjoy that you are giving them attention. However, I like facing people head on usually, and I will look at who is saying the nasty things trying to bring me down, and then I will walk away with a smile on my face, my head held high and a sexy strut that I usually have anyway.
I often notice how much trouble these women go through just to try to bring me down. That’s a lot of work and energy for them, isn’t it?! LOL.
Hi Sierra,
I agree, I love facing things head on too. Stay away from people that try to bring you down. 🙂
Have a great day!
Jen
Hi. Came across your blog. My husband died last year and I’ve been slowly picking up the pieces.
Last night at dinner with a girlfriend who is engaged to be married I told her the Chef at this resturant was flirting with me. She went to the back of the resturant and flirted with him.
He came to the table to talk about our food and was flirty with me and went back to cook. I said to my friend, he’s being flirty. She said, no, he’s just being nice.
Ok.
Then the Chef came by with a desert sampler for us and flirted with me some more. Then my friend who has a fiancee started shamelessly flirting with him, I was, to tell the truth, pissed because we’re both over 40!
But I didn’t show that I was upset and played it off. Later her fiancce came to pick her up and the Chef and I talked to each other some more.
Now I know she’s the jealous and competitive type and see her in a different light.
Hi Jane!
I’m so sorry for you loss. 🙁
I’m just gonna be blunt, your friend is a real piece of work. She sounds a little bossy. Does she want to keep you in check? Does she really feel that superior? Not a real friend. Maybe she’s insecure. Why wouldn’t she try and cheer you up and agree he was flirty. Even if he was not I would still tell my dear friend she’s a catch. 😉 I’d even encourage it. geez, I hope you can enjoy life and not be put down. Continue picking up the pieces and enjoy yourself. I wish you well. (perhaps bring a new friend for those fun dinners) XO
Jen
Great article!! There’s so much to think about. I know some women have been jealous of me when I was younger. Seriously, I had only 1 friend because I’d be rejected by other girls and I never knew what I did wrong. Also, I didn’t have a lot of social skills but I always tried to be friendly and caring, which just made me a bigger target for their meanness. I sometimes feel vulnerable around other people. Years later I can still feel the same problems when I’m around groups of people, particularly women. In fact, right now, I’m in a group of women (and one man) where one of the women is opinionated and while on the surface she comes off articulate and nice, she seems to need to be persuasive with those around her and has a very passive aggressive side. I can feel the vibe intensely. She says things like..” I can read people really well, I don’t miss a beat” to make me feel like she ‘knows’ me. She also likes to ‘hold court’ in that her wisdom supercedes everyone elses. Everyone seems to like her but I find her annoying. One night I was saying something that was just part of a general conversation and she took it and made it into something that she judged and deemed as a weakness on my part, basically telling me and the rest of the table that maybe people who have certain issues should just not do a certain other thing. Here’s an example..it would be like me saying I don’t swim in dark ponds because dark ponds creep me out. And she says well, maybe people who are afraid of dark ponds shouldn’t swim at all if they are that afraid of them. Another words, my conversation that I’m cautious about swimming in dirty swimming holes, gives her an opening to be opinionated and basically saying that if (I) am so afraid of something I just might as well not swim. Another words, my being REAL gives her ammo to twist it around to exploit me as being weak. She’s in need of being a TOP dog in her own mind. She’s nice and conversational and gives off a first likable impression but when you are the target it doesn’t take her long to make you feel like she’s trying to put you in a pecking order.I think she always needs at least 1 person whom she sees as different so she can feel superior. Anyway, it’s bugged me because when she created a negative opinion and response to something I was saying about myself, something that she didn’t need to judge or make into something negative, I sort of raised my voice and talked over her because she wouldn’t stop prattling on. I know she was a little surprised (and the others too) but I felt like she was so obvious in her attempt to make me look weak or small or silly that I just basically forced her to be quiet – at least in that moment. She has a strong personality and likes being in control of the conversation and more. Anyway, I just try to get along with everyone but I don’t like feeling like all these strong personalities take up so much space and air and when I try to just be myself, they seem to either feel threatened or intimidated in some way. I truly try to be friendly and just get along with people, but i come up against these people all the time. My feeling is that they are insecure about something(s) maybe even unconsciously so they want to make other feel how they feel. I hope I explained it right.
Hi GIA,
Thanks for sharing your story! Yes, it’s so true, the nicer you are, the bigger target you become. They’re horrible. They take your kindness for weakness and they can’t handle it. It’s usually because they were raised among unkind women. This woman that says she can read people well sounds insecure herself. That’s passive aggressive. It also sounds that she’s not a very positive person. Stand up for yourself too when she twists your words. Maybe you’ll be the first. Maybe she doesn’t realize she’s being unfriendly.And if she is passive aggressive, she could be pushing your buttons hoping you will explode. That would really please her. It’s sad we have to endure these situations. I’m sure the other ladies have had to deal with her and were too afraid to comment. What a real “treat” she is… lol. Sorry!
I wish you the best! Hang in there! 🙂
I have experienced jealousy on All venues of my personal life. It is growing more frequent and at an alarming rate. These mean women are in my family, at my job, in church and in general public. I’ve learned through my own peace and love for humanity to ignore them and walk away. I also am completely personal lyrics effected on how I am treated to be pushed out of jobs by women just because she is a jealous control freak and employers do nothing about it. This is effecting my life. I will continue therapy and will find peace in my life. Time for these so called girls to grow up and leave good women like myself alone at the job. Stop it with socialism and your men are with only because of the money you make.
is there any research which justify this phenomenon that women become jealous of other women? any research explaining the outcomes of women jealousy for other women.
Hi. There is this guy I became friends with at a yoga class I go to. I never really was interested in him romantically. However, recently he’s been going with his girlfriend, and she acts very strange around me. I’ve noticed that he’s starting to be more cold to me only when she is around that day. Even more upsetting is that his girlfriend starts to say nasty things about me to him, and he agrees with her, and even joins her in saying these things. I can feel and hear them talking about me, and it’s kind of funny because I think my being there really ruins their entire time! Before his gf started coming along he was super nice to me and always happy to see me. Now I see he’s really not a good person. Which kind of sucks.
Hi S.
Girl, it sounds like this guy is whipped. Any woman that has to put down another woman like that in front of her man… she’s just jealous. For him to agree… omg he’s whipped. She’s wearing the pants there. He could be a nice person but she rules the house. He would probably never hear the end of it if he disagreed. I see this often and just shake my head. Who knows, maybe he got caught looking at you and he had to cover up by saying something lame. Pssshh… Keep going to class and see how long they last together. I bet it kills her that you’re at this class.
Jen
Thanks Jen. I don’t have any woman friends, and guys tend to be nicer to be than girls, even though some men can be nasty towards me to. So, I’m a girl who hangs out a lot by herself. It’s nice to be able to reach out and be able to talk to another woman about stuff like this.
🙂
Hey S,
I know how you feel. :/ I have only a few lady friends that I trust. Most of my female friends from my young adult life and now to my 30’s have somehow back stabbed me or I realized they were not really my friends. People I once thought were my friends wanted to see me suffer. They get a “high of satisfaction” from hearing I was having a rough time in the past etc. Things I would hear “through the grape vine.” YOU”RE not alone. You’re in good company. It can be a lonely world out there. Why surround yourself with the drama right?
Have an awesome day.
XO
Jen
I have lots of jealous ladies around me. Also an old lady who is elder then my mother she is jealous to see me the way I am. She acts as if she is my mothers friend but she is not. She speaks very nicely with my mother but not with me. I have twin daughters she used to come to my mothers house to play with my daughters but didn’t talk to me properly. When i celebrated my daughters 1st birthday we invited to her family too but they came to our house and were making fun of us her daughter and daughter in law. Very bad women.many things happened I really feel bad that we have so many mentally sick people
Sorry to hear Anjana,
I wouldn’t have anything to do with this lady. I would have her around your daughters either.
XO
Jen
I just want to say, it does not get better when you get older. In some senior settings, it can be worst than high school bullying . Mean girls club, and more can exist in senior citizen apartments. Usually against another senior that has kept themselves in pretty good shape and or is just positive and happy. Jealousy for some is a way of life. This Jealousy article is great. I think females all over the world need to read this. If wish you could share this article on my blog. Blessings*
Hi Yvette,
First of all, LOVE your website. I loved your writing and your photos! You’re one stunning woman. OMG. Gorgeous, fab, fierce.
Geez, I can’t believe this continues to senior citizen apartment. Well, thanks for the tip. Carry on. XO
Jen
I have the same issue. I am crying reading these posts because I am heartbroken for all of you because I know how bad this hurts, first hand. I am a good person and due to the treatment of many for years now, I am so sad. In recent years, it’s all become too much to take. I was fired from my job though re hired I went back because I think the world of my bosses, 4 talented and brilliant professionals. It’s hard because being treated like this will naturally create doubt in the minds of people who need to see it for themselves and while they observed, I suffered horribly. It all started with rumors about me and my one male boss who is MUCH younger and married a lovely person. Regardless, they were relentless and I powerless to defend myself or to report this to my bosses I was put in an impossible position. When I was rehired, the new game was lets set her up to fail and call her paranoid if she says she is being set up or someone is creating problems or messing with my work. My life at home was affected of course since I had to explain to my husband what was going on. I am very good at my job and that’s another issue for the haters. I have dealt with this behavior for so long, since I was in my 20’s that I have become really good at predicting the future as it relates to mean, evil, nasty people who back stab you yet smile in your face. I have so much more to vent but I need to go to bed as it’s way late and I am up with low blood sugar I am a type 1 diabetic who is suffering health wise due to mistreatment I am overworked because of this, both at home and work and I am so upset it creates issues with my health that leads to me being late to work from sugar levels being so unstable. I pray for all women who suffer this very sad form of prejudice. It’s never discussed because who feels sorry for the girl who suffers because she is seen as pretty, thin, or smart and clearly a threat to the very people she wants to accept her
Hi Raine,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. Rumors seem be a common, ugly device used by women in these work environments. It’s so easy for these catty women to fabricate a story in hopes of causing problems in your life. Luckily, many people can see through lies and rumors. In my experience, a boss will usually not take mind to rumors if it’s not work related fact. As long as someone can get their job done is all that matters. Many of my bones have been men, and they usually don’t care or listen about drama. I love it when a boss can see through lies and trust you. Two faced co-workers are a dime a dozen, especially when they’re hungry for power. Sorry these stories brought you tears. It takes strength to come forward and share these stories. I tell my husband what I have experienced and I think he finally understands how horrible it is out there how some women treat one another. And for nice women, we are seen as weak and people take our kindness for weakness. Never change my friend.
XO Jen
<3:(
Today at school a boy who has a big crush on me was talking to me. Then this girl wwho I dont know but my friends know her jsust enterrupted our conversation and said right out of the blue so you think that every boy has a crush on you and when she asked that my whole class was staring at her like they were watching a really good show. Then I just felt so embarassed and said at the same time no. Then this girl was laughing about it with her friends. It was pretty embarrasing and its so hard to get over it because girls and women get jealous of me alot because I mostly look like a model.
Wow, that girl was very rude. The boy you were talking to probably noticed her rudeness too. She sounds like a bully. Perhaps the boy your were talking to was her secret crush. Young girls get so territorial lol. Just ignore those girls, they sound like a pack of bad rumor starters.
XO
Jen
I have this cunt thats jealous of me, she’s suposed to be a professional nurse, but she is fake as fuck and tries to bring me down because I belive she knows Im into her, tf to do?
I need serious lady advice she fucks me up.
Hi Maria,
Don’t let her negativity sour your day. In my experience, the best thing you can do is stay positive. Tell her how happy you are. Be kind to her. They hate knowing they have no power over you. Maybe she’s miserable and finds joy hurting others in mysterious rotten ways… misery loves company.
Hi,
The love of my life is with some inmature girl who wont grow up.Constantly talking negativley against me when i’m not the one whos begging nor chasing my mr right guy.Whom shes with.Prob is shes so annoying and wont back off.Insecure to be anywhere without him.She approached me a few years ago watching me what i was doing on my property.Which i happend to be painting.Tries so hard to get my attention bends over bacKwards to get a glimpse of me as though i’m a god.
I have been going through this I am 43 since highschool I have had girlfriends be two faced and I have gone through it at work currently once in my 20s and now. I have no idea why I am not married have no car and even back then not many boyfriends. These girls at work have tried to push me around and I made a comment like hey you arent my managers if theres an issue with my work tell him. Since then for months now they will ignore me and talk in their language and try and pawn work on me as well as sabotage my work. I have no proof and just ignore them. I dont want to work there anymore and am currently looking for a better job. I just dont understand how grown ups that are mothers could be so insecure. I am have not had an easy life it is such a waste of time to be jealous. If you dont like your life you have to fix it. I get everyone gets jealous from time to time tho but why does it end up being at work too its really sad. One person said they were jealous that I went out after work..just amazes me how weird people think sometimes.
Hi Tracy!
You’re not alone! Your experiences you’ve shared here are far too common. It sounds crazy at first right? But it’s 100% true and this kind of stuff is happening to good women like you and I. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it gets better. Best advice, sometimes your own company is that best when dealing with this at work of all places. I have seen too many dramas at work like this. It’s sad to say, yes we oddly enough have no proof that they’re sabotaging and back stabbing but you know in your gut feeling it’s happening. It seems like this is everywhere. No matter where I work, I see the cycle repeat. There’s always a group of women whispering behind your back. Being happy is often the best revenge if need be. Just be happy and enjoy life. Forget them. What they think of you is none of your business, just keep shining girl.
XO Jen
thanks for responding I have also realized over the years yes alone is best. Your life is your alone and no one elses business. it is hard to deal with but you cant make people like you and really they have no idea of any crap that you have gone through either and when you do talk to those people that seem to be cool they are the most boring people to have conversations with anyhow. the quiet people that do not talk are more interesting. thanks again for the response in my next life im coming back as a tall rich man but i know men go through the same thing they just dont get emotional about it.
It seems to be an endless cycle for me. Always always always always. It is sooooooo freaking exhausting. Women will always want to up the Ante’ with you. For instance in High school these creeps never showed true genuine spirit to girls that THEY didn’t want in their social groups. (thank God I made it through High school). Sad to say, these types NEVER grow out of it. How do I know, when things are great like a good job to be substant in, a nice guy who you can work on wanting to date me, a future path becoming better. THEN all of a sudden THEY (the idiots) want to become YOU. Little subtle notes I’m jealous or He doesn’t want you. Or why don’t you try and find another job. EXHAUSTING EXHAUSTING EXHAUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is exactly why I don’t relate at all to other women. Also, this is why I sit alone at work and go out by myself. Yes, I’ve been laughed at by other women in their 20’s , 30’s and 40’s AND 50’S AND 60’S. The only way for this to stop is to just ignore it and MOVE ON. Good being to you all! If you see someone whom you want to get to know and you never did because of a click just remember what you lost in your life a potential genuine friend.
Hi Jennifer Anne,
High school was a scary place for me too. YIKES! Backstabbers galore. When you’re nice to these jealous women, they use it as weakness and exploit you. They find happiness in bringing you down. I also find that eating lunch alone or with even a fun gay guy at work helps lol. Learn to love yourself, love your own company. These women that laugh at you are usually hiding a mask of insecurity. They try to make you feel like something’s wrong with you. They usually know the feeling how powerful a laugh can be at someone. For instance, I feel beautiful everyday but I dress elegant and conservative. I often find that women will feel jealous that I can be so beautiful without showing cleavage or too much skin. They can’t handle it that I turn heads when they’re half naked. My husband will notice other women looking at me up and down whispering. He thinks it’s bizarre how women treat me. It’s horrible how other women will treat you because you’re pretty. They will bad mouth you if you interview at their company, they will spread lies, they try to make you look like a horrible person. It’s sad. Stay strong!
Jen
thank you for being a kind spirit and a great person. Best to you as well. I will try not to let them get me down. I’m just very sensitive to others because I’ve been hurt in alot of valued areas in my life. You seem like a Gem. Best to your day.
Go girl! Remember to be your own personal cheerleader and be good to yourself. XO
Jen
I’ve definitely been able to recognize a jealous stare. They make it so obvious because they look at you when you’re not looking. It’s obvious that they’re staring at you with judging eyes.
Throughout my years (I’m 29 now), I’ve learned to just smile and be nice. Lately, I’ve been giving these women stares back, but sometimes it’s not even worth it.
I’ve discovered that when I’m in a bad mood, but still dress presentably and look pretty, I get the most jealous glares. When I’m happy and smiling, showing that I’m very approachable, that’s when they tend to react positively toward me.
A lot of women believe that the more beautiful and likable you are, the less down to earth you are. I prove them wrong every time.
Jen, thank you for your advice on looking in their general direction and smiling, or doing a catwalk right in front of them. I love it. I’ll definitely try both of these techniques next time.
For the rest of you ladies, continue to be beautiful and glow from the inside out. That way you’ll always win. 🙂
Hi Elle!
I love that you smile and stay nice to these women. That’s the right thing to do. I like to even say good morning to them or make small talk about the news.
Keep being pretty and dressing the way that makes you feel pretty. When you feel pretty and happy, you radiate beautiful energy that’s magnetic! Did you notice? lol. It’s soon true.
I LOVE that you stay “down to earth” men absolutely LOVE this quality BTW. They tell their friends and even call their mom about it, true story lol.
Do that cat walk girl! Show your confidence. Keep it classy and stay elegant.
XO
Jen
I today experience jealousy from a woman at a store I’m not stupid I know she was jealous of me as soon as I walked up to the line she started talking to her friend about oh stop eating sugary foods you don’t wanna get fat also she said I told Ben the other day stay away from McDonald’s it’s no good I’m currently over weight because of child birth im on a diet to get my size back the reason I believe she was talking about me because she notice that I didn’t get angry or felt out of place because she was talking about weight issues she seen that I didn’t care what hell she was talking about than she turn around and looked at me with the meanest nastest looked ever wow that was conformation it was low key trying to talk about me wow the nerve of some people smh
Hi Dezzy!
I do think it’s unprofessional and immature for sales women to treat a potential customer. If they’re doing this, they obviously don’t like where they work and may feel unhappy with themselves. I had a co worker that lost a lot of weight and she would talk bad about women with weight problems. I said, you of all people know what they’re going through… why? She got a high being one of the “mean” girls. You did the right thing by not letting them get you upset. They thrive on that. I’m so sorry you have to deal with them. When you love yourself and you’re happy, some people can’t handle it. Good luck and if I were you, I’d go back for fun to see if they’re going to repeat that crap. Take care!
For the past few years, I’ve had to deal with jealous women. It was a huge reason for why I left my job and became self-employed. I just could not take it anymore. There were several women who were awful to me. No matter what I tried, nothing stopped them: being nice to them, ignoring them, confronting them. Confronting them would stop them temporarily, but they’d always start up again. For the longest time, I didn’t understand why they were being so nasty to me until someone pointed out that they were jealous of me. I see myself as average looking, but other people tell me that I’m pretty. So maybe that’s it. I don’t know. The men at work were always nice to me, but several of the women weren’t, so I think that says something.
This is probably a whole other topic, or a subtopic, but my own mother sometimes makes jabs at me. She has done this throughout my life, and it’s hurtful. I think she has self-confidence issues, which she unfortunately takes out on me. I don’t think she does it on purpose. We had a bad relationship up until a few years ago when I learned to forgive her. I think that jealous mothers are the worst because they wreak havoc on your self-esteem while you’re growing up. I had to go to therapy to sort myself out.
Sometimes I wish that women could be like men and just beat each other up when we’re mad at each other.
Hi Kat! (meow)
Hey, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been dealing with both – jelly co workers and mom. Geez. That’s a double whammy. I’m so sorry. You must feel hurt and alone. I think it hurts more having that come from family especially a mom. HUGS! You probably did the right thing to get therapy. You need to address your self worth and confidence. Moms are supposed to build up your self esteem. Girl… my mother in law treat her own daughter this way. I advocate for the daughter and try to show her she should help her not criticize her. It got so bad, the daughter moved across from California to the east coast. The daughter has little self esteem and I know it’s because of the mom. 🙁
I hope these women at your job get a taste of their own medicine. Treat people the way you want to be treated. RIGHT? When they’re being evil to you, just imagine a giant piano falling on them. That’s what I do.. lol. These women are the worst… I’m sorry. They’re miserable believe it or not. One of those jealous women is the alpha bitch. You have to figure out who it is. Once they lose power, their group falls apart. One of them is bound to get mad or jealous of each other…. It’s just a matter of time.LOL…
Sounds like a toxic work situation. I’m so sorry to say that once you’re a victim of this, it happens wherever you work. Choose your battles wisely.
I recommend you keep smiling and focus on you. Be happy in your own little world.
Hugs, Keep strong!
Jen
I loved this post. I’m reading it again and again until it sticks in me! Eversince I was little I felt uncomfortable vibes from women close to me. It affected me so much I downplayed myself all the time to be liked. It would surely not work. Now I realize I have to love and stand up for myself.
YAY!!! I’m glad this brings you comfort. Love yourself and be confident. I love you girl! Thanks for reaching out!
It’s funny because when I was younger I had tons of female friends, now that I’m older I’m very cautious. You have to almost rely on intuition to know who is who. Just pay attention to your feelings. You have to be able to decipher between constructive criticism and plain old hate. A woman looking you up and down is ridiculous. Normally, I ignore women like this but sometimes you have to put your foot down. This woman was staring at me in the grocery store but it wasn’t a nice stare like, “Oh I like her hair.”
It was a stare like “who does she think she is!” All I was doing was looking at the ingredients on the box. So, I just glared at her back the same way she looked at me and then added a crazy look. She stopped immediately! If she was envious she probably thought “OK, I better stop she might be psycho.” I have a very innocent looking face and sometimes people think they can try me. The downside to this is that people might think I’m crazy. Here’s the real deal many people hate themselves. People who like who they are, don’t go around acting like that. Don’t let people like this, ruin you or your day. Realize if you weren’t so “FAB” people wouldn’t act this way towards you. Believe it or not many people just hate people for being happy or comfortable in their skin. You shield yourself by not talking about your successes or goals to these people. Now, where it gets crazy is when a person is a psychopath and they’re jealous of you. Those are the dangerous ones. You have to be creative when dealing with those types. Try to find like-minded people hang out with. Be extremely careful when making new friends, but don’t close yourself off.
Glaring…lol. I don’t like that icky feeling that someone is STARING either lol. They should know better that it’s creepy right? I love that you had the guts to dish it back at her. I agree, don’t let these people ruin your day. You’re right, people that love themselves would not want to bring you down! Happy people don’t do this. Go girl! Thanks for adding your experience here. This defiantly helps other women going through the same thing! Reading these stories.
I’m so sorry that all of you beautiful and wonderful women go through this. Everyone on here seems so humble and has much to offer (looks aside). It’s a shame people don’t give us a chance. I’m an attractive black women in an interracial relationship (my husband is white) living in New Mexico. I’m not sure if people here are about 3 decades behind the rest of the U.S., but the evil looks I get from the women here are upsetting. I don’t bother anyone and I’m NEVER rude or mean to anyone. I mind my own business and do my own thing. I cannot tell if they’re doing this because of my relationship or if it’s my looks. Either way, it’s terrible that people act this way. We all need to mind our business and respect each other. People act like they’re the ones who have to go home with me and live with me. Excuse my expression, but some people should piss off. The ugly looks and stinky attitudes will not break us up or change my beauty and intellect.
Love to all of you lovely ladies.
You’re never going to believe this, but I’m a slightly androgenous gay male. Sometimes I look more feminine, sometimes I look more masculine, but it’s all down to how I cut my hair. A few years ago, I got a haircut that made me look extremely handsome. It was great, every girl I met was giving me looks, straight guys were indifferent/ patted me on the back, and gay guys were hitting on me.
I kept getting this haircut and it worked for a long time. But more recently, the barber pushed the hairline up, making me look more feminine. Well, on the way to work the next day, I was getting looks (or so it seemed) from everyone I encountered. Until I realised it was just men.
For that whole week, women were acting like absolute beasts to me. I was getting nudged by female shop attendants, allowed to be skipped in line by female cashiers, shouted at by an older woman I worked with, and just got negative looks/ vibes from almost every woman I met. A lot of these women were previously flirting with me when I had a different haircut. It was like I entered the secret world of women, and, unfortunayely, was, as a male coworker joked with his mates that week, considered ‘hot’. He also said to his friends about me; ‘I want to fuck her ass’. I was basically a pretty girl’s face without the body. It sounds crazy I know, and you probably don’t believe me, but I gain nothing from anonymously posting this, and the only reason I googled it was because I was blown over by the experience.
I’ve always had female friends, and love women, and have been a female advocate. But that experience has made me appreciate men a lot more.
It takes a lot for a man to get jealous. There has to be a lot of ammunition to ignite it most of the time. But with women, it seems to be a matter of course. There were some women that week who didn’t treat me like a piece of shit, and they weren’t necessarily that good looking. I’ve realised that’s how you tell they are a genuinely good, strong person.
I’ve since shaved my head to get rid of that effect.
Being a good looking guy is the best thing in the world, being a good looking girl is terrifying.
Hi Jen,
I’m so tired of jeaulosy at work that I have taken a leave of absence. From my supervisor to my co workers. I think they are jealous of my shape I’m shaped very curvy and have a huge butt and a nice figure and dress very nice every day. My supervisor use to come in everyday paying attention to what I’m wearing or what purse I’m packing. Saying things like I love your outfit all you do is shop huh? That went on for about 2 months straight from her. Rewind 8 months later she harasses me and micromanage only me and stop complementing which is ok, but I’ve noticed. She gave me a poor performance review, saying I don’t know my job when I do. It’s just crazy.
My coworkers I thought were my friends, has start showing their jealousy. One of them we use to go out to eat every day. When I went on leave she was on medical leave. She told me she found a job working from him but I would have to take an assessment to get hired. I asked her to take it for me since she passed and we are supposed to be friends. She pretended like she would take it. Weeks have went by and I haven’t heard from her. I’m just so upset that she would leave me hanging.
I give up on trying to befriend people every time I try they stabbed me in my back.
Porche
Hi Porche,
Sorry to hear about your co workers. Sounds like you can’t rely on anyone but yourself there. Keep strong. I hope you get to have a new co worker as fun and fashionable as you! For now you’ll have to enjoy your own company. Somethings that’s more fun than what’s available around you 😉
Hi Jen,
I need some advice. I can relate to most women on this post. I currently work with two women, one older and one younger than me. They try to take work from away from me and make me look bad in from of my boss. The older women is my lead in the group I work with. She never gives me credit for work that I do and instead her and the younger women team up to make me look bad. I really love my job, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m nice and friendly towards everyone and there’s always a group of women who have to ruin that. What should I do?
Hi Nadia,
You should always take credit for your work. My advice would be for you to have a meeting with your boss, perhaps even ask for a raise and mention all the work you do and how you go above and beyond. Perhaps ask for more responsibilities since you’re probably already doing them. Good luck! There’s always going to be people that try to take credit for your work. You have to check them.
I’m in high school and there’s this girl that used to be my best friend. We fought and she’s hated my guts ever since. That was nearly two years ago. Becuase we are in the same friendship group, I receive her death stares and her talking back to me ALL the time and others are starting to notice it too. I’ve realised she’s jealous of me, for some reason, but one being that I’m best friends with her crush (Drama! Am I right?). So I’m now taking this post into account and not going to let her get to me. Thanks for the advice. I’m going to kill with kindness and self-pride.
It’s too bad you guys aren’t friends anymore. 🙁 Don’t let her bother you. It would be cool if you could be the nice person and give her a second chance and talk to her… I know it’s so hard. Just be nice to her but don’t let her treat you like dirt. Good luck!
The sad thing is, I’ve tried to mend things. I tried to talk to her because I’d be happy to put it all behind us but she won’t give in.
Glad to have found this article. I deal with jealous women all the time. They look be up and down. They tell fake stories about me and smile to my face. I dont understand why as I have always been a very bubbly nice person. I am not the jealous kind at all. I feel we all have a place in the sun and I encourage everyone I meet. In my experience I just smile even when it aches inside. I also like to dress nice and fashionable so I get often snarky remarks about that too….Then I just dress more fabulous so that they know they cant put me down. Sorry I’m not sorry. Mothers should teach their daughters less hate and more love. I have two sons and teach them we are all beautiful and special.
Hi Mrs. K!
Isn’t it horrible hearing a made up rumor?
Keep loving yourself and being fabulous. Who knows maybe that’s the way they were raised. I don’t know why anyone would have to make someone feel uncomfortable and looked at up and down like that and receive snarky remarks. You remind me of what I go though almost every morning…while waiting for the elevator at work I greet everyone with a good morning or open the doors for ladies that are carrying their purse and boxes. Very rarely do I get a good morning back or a thank you, just glares like I’m from another planet… I just find it hilarious now! Keep being a ray of sunshine and creating positivity. When you meet other people like yourself that want to be happy and upbeat, you’re going to be unstoppable. Take care!
Jen
These people in our neighborhood likes conniving by spreading rumors about me. I over heard them many times. I was in our garden a few times and they’d popped out like mushrooms trying to let me know that they were there. I heard some awful remarks but I let it just pass through my other ear because I don’t even care. Their daughter seems to get irritated when I’m around. I over heard her many times telling her parents that she’s too afraid that maybe I’d hurt her or something. I think she always forgets her medication. It seems they need to let her check in a nut house. These family has some serious mental issue. If they can’t hurt me, they try to find a way to hurt me emotionally. They even try playing loud music everyday. Sounds as if they need mental help. LOL
Hi,
It sounds like you need to confront the people with this matter and set the record straight if it bothers you. I tell myself that what people think about me is none of my business. BUT, if they’re affecting your life, you need to speak up. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. They have nothing better going on in their lives and they have to create drama and make you look like you’re the problem. Yuck. Good luck.
XO
Jen
OMG. Jen. My upstairs neighbor is SO JEALOUS of me, whenever she sees me outside, she goes into a mad frenzy of working out (I’m really thin/toned/super in shape). She will go to the gym every day for hours just by one look at me checking my mail in a tank top! lol. Then she won’t see me for months, and I won’t see that gym bag in her hand. Sure enough, the minute she sees me again, she runs to the gym for a week straight! She is so hateful and mean, she won’t say hello, won’t smile, HATES ME for zero reason at all. How do I handle it? She’s my upstairs neighbor! She also wears high heels in the house just to try to rattle me. And the thing is I’ve done NOTHING to her! If I say hello to her, she just keeps walking! She’s pathetic!
Hi Jess,
You gotta try this… get another neighbor outside and try to wave the mean neighbor by and include her in your conversation. LOL. You have to have another neighbor see this too for their self. Too funny. next time she ignores you, tell her she dropped something….”your personality…” lol I’m funny.
Jen
hey jen,
loved your post.i can totally relate to it.i am a 17 year old girl from india.i have been experiencing this awful and unfair behaviour since my pre-teen years.
even teachers have hated me.girls have gone to extreme lengths to complain to teachers about me and spread lies.actually,the worst part is that my mother too hates me and is jealous of me,even though i am their only child.i have had online counselling to deal with the scars from my mother,that is when i realized that she is jealous of me.
even my dad hates me,i dont like the way he looks at me,checks me out.he is like those boys mentioned in the above comments that will side up with your jealous girlfriends if u dont ‘give’ them anything.
my mom creates scenes and dad always always puts the blame on me and scolds me.my mom takes advantage of this and always shouts loudly and over-reacts when my dad is at home.my dad knows that am not the one at fault but yet ,he scolds me on purpose.
but my friends are also equally worse.i have just passed higher secondary school,but since the last two years i have been bullied like hell.it was all started by a girl who is in my college.she was extremely jealous of me,i could see it in her eyes.
she got pissed at me one day,when i didnt ‘obey’her.and since then,the hell has begun.we were in different classes.but during geology lecture,students from our class had to go to her class.as soon as i would enter class,she would start laughing like hell,and keep on shouting things like,”oh my god! look who’s here’ to mock me.
this only worsened day by day,but i never responded to he;partly because i wanted to show to her,that she cant get a reaction outta me,and partly because there was nothing i could do against her.n yeah to be frank,i was deeply scared of her in my heart.she broke me,my confidence from inside.
i used remain absent for weeks on end.i used to go to the washroom only after making sure she isnt around,because once when i entered the washroom,it was crowded with girls,and she started making fun of me,saying that i am here just to do makeup,and all the other girls grabbed the chance and joined her as well.it was a living hell.it was extremely humiliating.
she was so shameless,that she would behave like this and show her true colours,also in front of boys.she had turned many many boys against me.she would walk into a girls roup and say something,and i would find the girls in that group lookin at me and judging me,and laughing at me.
i couldnt even move around the college,without making sure she isnt around.i would always hide from her,i would try to get into other girls’ roups,bt the worst part was that no one accepted me,no one wanted me around.the moment she would she me,she would start shouting loudly,saying something nasty indirectly to me,she would laugh at me,throughout the day,and everyone else would join her.
no one would see her shameless character instead.as you can see,she was ‘obsessively jealous’ of me.but yeah,she wouldnt say anything when no one was around except me n her.and that usually happened in the washroom during lectures,i would then confidently play with my hair ,do my makeup,knowing she is watching me and wanting to kill me.i would always catwalk around her,in public she would make fun of me and call me a slut,but in private she would not even open her mouth.
u could easily see the insecurity and jealousy on her face then.that confidence of mine when alone with her,would shake her to her core,i could sense it.
but yeah she also got to me,since my grades fell sharply,and i became deeply depressed.i avoided people,and had to stay lonely.not a single girl wanted to be my friend.
actually,the problem is that my mom too is exactly like this girl in my college.if my mom were supportive,this college girl wouldnt have affected me so much.
my school friends were also jealous but i could handle them easily,they still talked to me,but simultaneously,i also went through a bad break-up and my ex made such situations that,all the girls and boys sided with him.
so no one from school or college would even talk to me.at home too situations were such hostile,as i have mentioned above.and also that breakup broke me.
also in my tutions,in a completely crowded class,i would always always sit alone,because everyone(all the girls) straight-away refused to even sit with me.as soon as,i would sit next to them,they would over-react and shift to some other place,and be openly shameless and rude.
all of this put me into deep-depression,i have been struggling with deep-depression since the last 2 years i.e. since i was 15.my mom doesnt even feed me well.my dad doesnt give me enogh money.my mom hardly cooks food at home,if i force he to cook,she creates drama,and dad storms at me,to shout at me and even hit me.
i have become emotionally numb now.all my school-friends think that m a despo,they think in was desperately after my ex.my ex laughs at me,at my face,and all my school friends do so too.
i have started meditating now and it is helping me.i am taking online counselling from websites like this.i am working on my grades now.and have done quite well.
i havent talked to anyone much about this since i have no friends.my cousins dont talk much to me.i didnt even want to comment here,but i realized i needed to vent out my feelings for once.
i am just a 17 year old girl,but i have learned a lot about people and life,the hard way.anyway,thank you jen for this wonderful and realistic post,and to all the commenters here as well.their stories have only made me stronger.
sorry for the long comment.love.
Ritika
Ritka,
Your post has me in tears. My heart just broke over and over for you my dear. I’m so so sorry.
I feel your pain from wherever you are. I just felt everything you wrote. If I met you, I’d want to be your friend. 🙂
People are horrible, especially when they feel threatened and jealous. You see then at their worst. Can you imaging feeling so jealous of someone like that?
I remember a nice girl in high school was beat up because some girl thought she was too pretty and taking the attention away from her boyfriend. The nice pretty girl never did anything wrong. However people wanted to say mean things to bring her down. They assume she’s stuck up.
Another story, I got to meet a real beauty pageant winner, Miss Utah 2007 I believe. She was so pretty. She came to my work in her gym clothes and not makeup, still pretty and such a sweet girl. However, some guy told me that the female accountants were talking shit about her saying she was plain and talking about her features. That blew my mind. I’m not like that at all. Today I saw this gorgeous girl in the bathroom , we were washing our hands together and I felt shy, she said she liked my outfit. I always say hello to her. I genuinely smiled and told her how much I loved her hair. Now if I was one of those jealous women that work nearby, I probably would have ignored her. (that’s what they do!)
Two women came into my office the other day and just laughed at me and when I smiled and asked if I could help them they laughed.. I just started laughing too! and they closed the door. Sometimes you have to be strong. If you are happy and laugh too, their heads explode. When I get evil looks from women up and down, I smile or just laugh now. They hate it.
Why does it have to be this way?
These little games we have to play?
Enjoy being you. Embrace who you are.
Be a woman who is not only pretty, but has an amazing personality and is very kind.
At the end of the day, I smile because I treat people how I want to be treated, and I let my personality sparkle.
You need to live on your own and surround yourself with good people.
If you can’t. Volunteer to help somewhere. Use your beauty as a way to make a positive change in this world. People will listen. People are already paying lots of attention to you anyways right? 😉
Your story hit my heart Ritika, I too remember when nobody wanted to sit next to me, talk to me or bully me. I was the nicest person despite the hate.
My best friend at the time back stabbed me. My next best friend would back stab me the same way.
It’s lonely at the top.
I’d like to find and add you on Facebook.
I’ll use your email to find you, ok?
Jen
OMG I believe the worst kind of jealousy is one that you love. You could be sleepy with the enemy and not know. Momma always said it’s usually the ones closest to you. Everything I did he would do his best to “TRY” to bring me down. I bought a car mysteriously sugar was found in my tank. I bought a new sectional it got ripped up. I got a new job I got fired. After the car incident. I just let him go I couldnt deal. Afterwards he started stalking I heard he was dating someone else. He would then bring all those women around to jump me or talk shit about how they will kill me, rape my daughters, cut my throat, blow my head off, kick my door in, get me and kids lut out on the streets.Not to mention he did have those women in my bed while I was working and attending two schools. They would get on Facebook make fake pages of my daughters saying my daughters 12 &14 year olds are slut hoes trying to sell my babies on-line. They would then turn all their friends against them,turn my friends against me by saying bad things about us to make us look bad. Calling me a hoe. Just trying to make us look bad. The last incident, was a couple of days ago some grown boy was walking behind us (Someone my ex sent)as I walked my kids to school on the day of my daughters 8th grade luncheon, took a picture of her ass sent it out to others, & put it on Facebook saying she a slut a hoe etc etc. Something is seriously wrong. He beggs me to get with him he sits in my hallway. Saying I just want to be your friend we just want to come together. I feel like he had a million chances and he blew it. You showed me your true colors. It’s over with. He’s going even crazy and doing the most since I want nothing more to do with him.
Hi Jameka,
Thank you for sharing your story! Many women will relate to this. It sounds crazy but I know you’re telling the truth. Your ex sounds like a control freak. Tarnishing someone’s good name and talking behind their back is low. They want to break you. You need to get far away from him. I would move. Get a new social media account name etc. Most of all protect your daughters. When people try to turn your friends against you, they’re plain evil.
I’m so so so sorry you’re going through this. Jealousy is so ugly. Hugs.
Jen
Hi jen/everyone
Sometimes it helps talking to strangers! I moved from the city to a village and I’ve been living in the village for about 4 years now! This comment includes myself and my eldest daughter! We moved from London to a village and thought life would be peaceful and enjoying! But ever since my two younger children have started school in this village it’s been awful! When I take my children to school the mums just glare at me,I try and show I am not bothered by this which helps to show them I am confident and I do not care,but sometimes it does bother me to where sometimes I don’t want to take my children to school! They are very cliquey,they like to stand around in little groups and stare! One of the mums invited my young 8 year old daughter to her daughters birthday party,which was very nice! I turned up 20 minutes late even could of been 30 minutes late! It was torrential rain outside and I don’t drive and my husband was not home he was at work.Out of all fairness I should of phoned her and said I am running late! I kindly asked my neighbor if he could drop me round to her home which he kindly did,and when I turned up at her house her husband answered the front door and invited me in! But his wife whom invited us did not say a word to me,except would you like a glass of champagne so I said OK and from when I got there she just didn’t mutter a word! All the other mums spoke to me! When I was leaving her home,all the children got a goody bag,except for my youngest child and I told her this and she said to me,”I only have enough for my children now” then I just left,she said that in front of everybody! She didn’t speak to me for months and then one day we got speaking at a school fete,we both got on really well having a natter and she invited me and hubby and kids back to her home and we all just got along! Then she confessed to me and said the reason I haven’t spoken to you for so long is because you turned up late at my child’s birthday party I held the party up for an hour before you showed up! Because she had a entertainer there for the kids,but when I turned up at the party,the party was still going on so that was a cold lie! So I apologised for that as I thought leave it,sort of don’t go into it! But I thought to myself do you stop speaking to someone months on end because of that! Close friends and family has said to me you don’t go on like that! She told someone that I turned up two hours late and she had to hold up the party for me and my child! And this person said to me,there has to be more to it,because you don’t get annoyed over something so petty! Some friends and my older daughter said it was jealousy! I’m not sure if because me and the lady in question share the same love for red lipstick I wore on the day of the party,or because I’m in my 30’s have dark brown thick hair bluey green eyes tanned skin and not a wrinkle in site and have a 18 year old daughter to who gets told she is very beautiful! I never point out my looks but a few people said this is what it could be! And on the day of the party the lady in questions husband was no where to be seen,I think she kept him out of the way! I have never felt so uncomfortable in my whole life,I just wanted the floor to open and swallow me up 🙁 other occasions I have been to the local pub,seen some of the mums in there and they would say that I am so gorgeous and that my daughter looks like my sister,then…I go to say hello to them over the school and they just blank me and they stand in groups and just stare at me it’s so uncomfortable! There’s another mother,she will have little blunt conversations with me but as soon as her husband is around she tries to not have eye contact with me,and she really don’t want to talk to me but I carry on talking and being nice! I hate it for my older daughter too she gets a lot of bad looks and sneers from girls her own age and older women but thank Christ she is a strong person! She has said it is getting all stupid now! See in the city we both agreed that we could handle it,but in the village it’s awful it’s literally every day! If I wear red lipstick to the school I am all glammed up the mums say just to go to the school! And a couple have said that I do look nice which is a compliment! Me and my 18 year old daughter went to a pub in the village with some friends and me and my daughter was getting really filthy dirty looks from other women! If a man spoke to us these women would start cuddling these men and start kissing these men on their cheeks,I don’t care I have a husband,I don’t understand how they think we would be so upset by that! But it is really annoying now,one good thing is these people haven’t bought me and my daughter to depression! We don’t dress provocative,we are always covered up decently! Obviously when it’s hot outside it’s either a dress or tee shirt and decent shorts! Just can’t understand it! lol I hope my essay of a comment made sense! It is just getting to me a bit now I ain’t going to lie! Thanks Jen x
Hi Demi,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It sounds like the same elements many other women here are experiencing, sadly. Your story is amazing. Yes, I’d imagine that leaving the city for the village would be more relaxing and down to earth people… I guess not! Yikesssss. I enjoy the fact that you’re aware you and your daughter are lovely attractive women and dress modest, decent,-your beauty shines through. I can’t seem to imagine why that woman would say you were late 2 hours, what an exaggeration! Bad mouthing you, to make you look bad. I find these people awfully weird miserable creatures… what do they get out of it? They want to look innocent? Talking about someone badly behind their back shows their character. I’m sorry to hear it’s not that much fun there. Maybe you should start a club there. Well, keep shining and be a nice person, don’t let them make you sour. The most beautiful thing in the world is a beautiful woman that is KIND and has a great personality. 😉
Thanks for sharing your story! HUGS
Jen
Hi Jen/everyone,
I am almost 41 years old and have no friends, boyfriend, or job. It sounds like such a sad story, but I finally realized what the problem is, thank you!!!
I have always blamed myself for how men and women treat me. I am always friendly nice, so they can feel good about themselves. I just don’t understand how I can be so friendly and positive and still get “looks” from certain woman who work at the gym where I exercise. And they don’t even try to hide it. It’s like, Oh, there she is
At this same place last week, I walked in and I didn’t realize my dad had politely held the door for a man and woman behind us. I was at the counter when the women rudely handed her card to the front desk guy and he checked her in!! I felt like I was first, but my dad had been behind them, (since he held the door). I wanted to say something, but let it go, because those things just happen, you know? However, the girl who gave me the look when I walked in could have checked us in, but just stood there and let us wait, even though we were first.
Well, today my dad and I walked in and we were acknowledged, but the same front desk guy wouldn’t check us in because he was helping another couple. He checked that other lady in last week, so what gives?
So we kept waiting…There were probably five people working who could have checked us in, but didn’t, until an unacceptable amount of time had passed. Finally, I said, I guess people up here had a brain fart today.”
I was joking, but I know they didn’t like it. It wasn’t rude, but it was just honest and to the point. People, in general do not like hearing the truth, even when they are wrong.
The reason why I know they did not like my “brain fart” comment was because one of the nicer ladies saw me as I was leaving and said, “You’ve been here a long time.” Wow. She should have said, Why are you still here!”
Also, I have seen some of the front desk guys look at me and it makes me think that they girls don’t like to hear them talking about me, or any other attractive women, and that’s why I get the “looks.”
It really bugs to be nice and friendly and yet people still act rudely.
Hi J,
People are such odd creatures.
I see how nice you are, yes!
Sometimes people are just unhappy and feel the need to go out of their way be rude or try and bring you down.
People that perceive your life is “too easy” are usually this type of mean person.
They give odd looks that are obvious to try and make you uncomfortable.
Go up to them and ask for service, take action.
Sorry they’re rude.
Best of luck.
Jen
Why they let you wait is just silly. If they continue to act like that, take your business elsewhere. Write the company a letter, and yelp review. The business owner deserves to know how their customers are being treated.
Hi Jen,
So glad I found this page as sometimes I feel misunderstood or that people think I’m overreacting when I try to complain about people being jealous and bullying me.
I had never experienced being mistreated until I was married.
My mother inlaw was a very judgemental woman towards me and she teamed up with my sister inlaw, scheming and trying to put me down.
My sister inlaw and I used to be good friends in the past as we were friends when I was was still dating my husband and she was still dating my husband’s brother.
However as soon as I got engaged and married, my sister inlaw grew distant towards me and my mother inlaw would start to make rude comments to me and I used to feel so sad and often cried to my husband not understanding why I was being treated so badly.
When I was pregnant with my first child (which was the first grand child for both sides) she asked me how things were with my pregnancy and when I said things were good and that I was starting to get a bigger appetite, she told me “that’s good, so you can put on weight and stop being ugly” (I was slim)… it was as if she wasn’t at all happy that I was pregnant, she never even congratulated me or even her own son… when she’d ring up it was just check if I was still working and she would tell my husband to tell me to just be strong and go to work, as if I had ever stopped working! LOL it was if she wanted us to fail somewhere.
While all this was going on, my sister inlaw (who was still only dating my brother inlaw back then) would pretend that she was visiting us only to return home and email/call my mother inlaw and report to her what we were doing in our house… of course she would put in her 5 cents too, making it out that I am jealous of her (how can I be jealous of someone when we don’t even have the same taste nor do I even like how she dresses).
Anyway, I gave her the silent treatment after hearing so many negative stories from my cousins, spread from her)… she must have had a feeling that I knew about her storytelling and decided on her own that she would not come over anymore… until the following year, she came over when my evil mother inlaw visited. The vibe I got from my mother inlaw was as if she was always on edge, she was extra loud and tried to be intimidating and would always put me down in front of everyone, and it was always about my weight – eg. When she first saw me after just I had my first child, she said in front of everyone, “oh wow you’ve put on sooo much weight! But that’s life, when you get old you get fat”… I was only 27 back then LOL
I’m not one to retaliate but I felt that enough was enough.
It was one thing to gossip and spread rumours about me behind my back but then it is a different story when you try to go to bully me in my own home.
This behaviour is disgusting!
Long story short, I had to confront these two ladies, it was not easy especially when I pregnant with my second child.
My marriage was starting to have problems as my husband started to believe that I was the problem since his mother got along with our sister inlaw, so he started to be passive so I had to stand my ground and tell him that I did not marry him to get treated badly by his mother etc.
Sometimes silence is not the answer to jealous people, especially in this situation. I had to put my foot down so that they knew not to disrespect me in my own home and that I truly did not even care about all the stupid fake stories they were spreading about my me.
My sister inlaw and I made up and apologised however we were distant to each other for a long time, however I still stood my ground, still attended my sister inlaw’s wedding (even though my mother inlaw was telling everyone that I was still jealous of her).
Things got abit easier after confronting the situation head on.
My mother inlaw and I only started mending last year, this is after 8yrs of drama, she’s finally starting to turn around and care for her grandchildren. To this day my sister inlaw and I are just civil friends (we have to be), she still does pathetic things whenever she hears my mother inlaw talk good about me and my kids, she’ll upload dozens of selfies of herself with our mother inlaw and make constant dedications and she’s never uploaded any photo of me on her page… until last week, she posted a very unflattering photo of me and her and this couple she said “Happy Anniversary” to the couple, but I know she purposely posted the photo because I look enormous and fat in the photo LOL
Some people will never change honestly, doesn’t matter how many years you put up with them.
Apologies for the super long comment lol…
Hi L,
Thank you for sharing your story!
Please don’t apologize for leaving a long comment.
Your story resonates with me and most likely the other ladies reading this page.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those negative vibes.
Be the best person you can be and know in your heart you’re a good person.
I wish I could say just avoid these ladies, but yes you’re married into this family. I bet you wish you could move far away!
It sounds like your mother in law and sister in laws are a real “treat”…
Don’t let them see you unhappy. In fact, be happy around them. Be an upbeat happy person that loves life. THAT would actually send them packing.
Even if you have to fake it till you make it. Try to just laugh away their negativity.
People that have to spread fake stories are truly miserable inside.
These women want you to complain to your husband. They want to come in between you by what you said. Maybe they aren’t happy in their relationship. Maybe they compare their life to yours constantly as competition.
When you mentioned your mother in law said.. “…now you can stop being ugly.” That shows what kind of person you’re dealing with…. crazy!!!! cuckoo! cray cray… and when you’re dealing with a crazy jealous woman, they don’t play by the rules. They do all kinds or stuff to make you look bad.
Girl, I wish I could give you a hug.
Love yourself and be good to yourself.
Jen
I find that the easiest way for me to deal with a jealous female is to be happy and act totally oblivious to their jealousy. It’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to feel like women are just more trouble than their worth so I just keep them at arm’s length at all times. I don’t trust them. I just view them all as psychopaths.
Yes Stacy!
Great point. Yes, you totally get it! 🙂 Sometime you do have to be careful because when they see you super happy it makes them angry and they do act out sometimes. Like… they will “accidentally” spill their drink on you as they walk near you… try to light your hair on fire, try to cut your hair when they’re in front of you, film you in public….spread lies about you in public. It’s crazy.
when my husband and i moved in a new neighborhood, everything was fine until the one neighbor came to my door, inviting me for a coffee, after we had lived there for 3 years already. i had a strange gut feeling but i said yes, which was the biggest mistake of mh life. the next day we met at her house for a coffee, and all she did was gossipping about her friend, which immediately rang my bells…better watch out. after that i had no more interest so see her again, but she kept calling me almost every day, so when she asked me to join her to go to a town market, i said yes. at the market i saw this beautiful knitted scarf and wrapped it around my neck. as soon as she saw it on me, she had to have the same scarf…bad sign right! it got worst, there was a cute pin to hold the scarf together, and when i could not deside immediately if i was going to buy it, she ripped it out of my hands and said…i’ll take it. on the way home she was making bad comments about americans (my husband is american), that kinda did it for me that i had enough, but several weeks later she talked me in to join her to go take a stroll through a neighbor town and have a coffee there. again, she gossipped about her friend the entire time, and when i tried to make positive conversation, her mood changed trastically to bitchy. she had something negative to say about anyone who passed at the coffee shop…we were sitting outside. all of a sudden she wanted to go home. i guess it bothered her that i did not join her negative gossipping and remained positive, and probably it bothered her that the guys at the table beside us were checking me out and ignored her. then on the way to the car she clearly made remarks in order to put me down. thats when it became clear to me that this woman was jealous of me, and i had a feeling i wasn’t going to hear from her again. my feeling was right, but instead i got a complaint from our landlord…she had called him and complaint about us that we supposedly did not cut our hedges, but she never talked to me about this before because it was not true. this is when it turned psycho. this woman then turned her entire family against me. all of a sudden i noticed how my plants in my garden were dying, the grass turned yellow for no reason, thousands of weeds started sprouting, strange things happened in my beautiful garden. their house is right behind ours and our gardens border. now they had a camera on their roof and cameras hidden in their trees. i was being watchef in my garden 24/7. she started to copy my ideas, wore the same clothes, became a gardner like me, although she had no interest in gardening before. her family would frequently circle around our house, stalking me in the garden any chance they would get. they became obsessed with me and my garden. after all of this was in process for some time, i noticed that the daughter would drive in our one way street, every weekend late at night, spraying poisons from her car while driving by, into our garden, killing trees and plants. to make this long story shorter…she and her family has been destroying my entire garden now for 6 years. i keep asking myself how someone can become so obsessed with another person. i am just an ordinary woman…ok i am a bit different…i am a free spirit, very creative, i have an eye for beautiful things, and i made my garden beautiful. i am also a generous, easy going, and very friendly person, and usually get along with anyone. people would always stop at my garden, startex talking to me, giving me compliments….well, i guess that was just too much for her to take, that people admired my garden, so she had to destroy it. this is not the only story in my life where i experienced the envy of a hateful woman but this one is by far the most extreme. actually, i believe she is mentally ill, and her husband is a psychopath joining her. well, we’ve been looking for a new place. i am a very positive person and i don’t let someone like that bring me down. karma will take care of them some day. thanks for reading my story.
Hi Michele,
I’m soooo sorry to hear about your garden!
I’m happy to hear you’re moving away from her. I hope you find happiness and can have a garden again. Maybe you can have nice indoor plants to enjoy for now? Ignore her negativity, that’s the best thing you can do. Always be kind and be the better person. Show her she can’t break your kindness. Pray for her.
Jen XO
I’m 45 but look younger. Much younger, but I have no doubt the age will catch up sometime. I’m not stunningly beautiful or even very pretty but I have gorgeous hazel green eyes and good blonde fine hair. I’m white of Irish/Slovak descent. Not that special but I must have a powerful presence. Women mostly dislike me after meeting me a time or two. I see the looks they give me when I’m dressed nice and made up. I usually avoid this by covering up and ditched makeup for the day. Then I blend in better. But I know women must be jealous and I must be attractive because men act very strange around me. They watch me, smile at me and try to catch my eye. Now mind you I’m a mom to threr grown sons, younger men generally don’t bug me but the men my age and older. I secretly like the attention but I don’t get why. I dropped my purse at the bar and a guy literally swooped in to get it for me right in front of my boyfriend. Men notice me so I must be above average looking. But I wasn’t always I was a fat ugly kid and pre teen. My home town girl friends now are few. Because I was a late bloomer they all look wrinkled and bloated but I look the same. They hate me. In glared at in bars and called a whore because of high school bullshit that every girl did back then. I’m 45 and a grandma. For crying out loud. My bf has a best friend and his wife just hates my guts. She poisoned the other women in BF life to hate me too. She is jealous of me because my bf isn’t at their beck and call anymore to get drunk. I do not drink because it ages you for one and I don’t like being sick from it. But I’m not superior or anything, I’m always nice but to no avail. I feel so bad I want to leave my BF who I love because all the women in his life dislike me. In very real and do not play they’re little mean games of gossip and jealousy. I am seriously not jealous of anyone. Ever. I’m not competitive at all. I think it’s stupid! His SIL hates me his brother hates me and most of his friends, but all the female friends hate me. Now we’re engaged and nobody’s happy about it on his side. I’m heartbroken and feel I should leave because I gutted his social life I guess. It’s uncomfortable to be around these people. Why should I have to feel bad about myself and unsure when I know I’m not ugly or cruel, psychotic or jealous
Katie, it sucks, but welcome to my world! I was just let go from a contract position because of jealousy. I figured it out, people who don’t like themselves can’t stand people who do. Don’t you dare break up with your boyfriend. You can’t run from this because you’re going to encounter this time and time again. I know it’s hard but somehow you’re going to have to either ignore them or not spend a great deal of time around them. However, watch your back don’t leave your belongings unattended around them. Never trust anyone who hates you. I would have a heart to heart with my boyfriend and hopefully he will be smart enough to see what’s really going on. If he sides with his friends then I would leave. But as long as he is happy with you don’t you dare let these insignificant pieces of sh–t break up your relationship.
Hey Katie, for one please allow yourself to enjoy looking nice regardless and in spite of jealous people. Don’t ever dumb yourself down or force yourself to look more plain to try and appease jealous people. You need to stand up to that pressure and be true to yourself. You are a grown woman and we all get just 1 shot at living life, so make the most of it and enjoy it as much as possible.
I used to do that too, try and hide in ill fitting oversize clothes and forego makeup or doing my hair so people would leave me alone. One day though I realized it was my life and I was going to live it the way I wanted. So now I have fun wearing makeup and trying out new looks. Sure, men act weird and some women glare. You know what I do? Stand up straighter and smile. They hate that but who cares? Not me, anymore. Life is too short to worry about what they think.
As for your boyfriend, the women in his life are probably jealous that you have his attention, or maybe they just don’t know you. The guys might be worried that such a pretty gal is hanging with their boy and afraid you like him just for his looks or money, again they probably don’t know you enough to build trust. Maybe try to get to know them one at a time, the guys first as you won’t have to deal with potential jealousy there on top of trust issues. Just next time you see them, say hi and be friendly, get to know them a bit by asking questions about their job etc. Once you win over a few of your boyfriend’s guy buddies, the girls will either start to come around or look like jealous fools. Anyway hope that helps, main thing is don’t be afraid to shine for fear that others may not like it. Be who you want to be, look how you want to look, and enjoy being the lovely person that God made you.
I’ve had women try to run me over with their car while I was out walking or jogging. Like seriously, they stared me down and tried to run me over or at least scare me by swerving away at the last second. Another woman shouted “prostitute” at me as she was driving by in an SUV. I was pushing my daughter in a stroller and wearing a simple sun dress. What a fucking jealous hoe. These were when I was thin. I put on some more weight since then and these types of incidents are not as bad as they used to be, but I still have to deal with jealousy from other women. If you are that self-conscious about your appearance, then fucking do something about it like I did. I used to be obese and then lost the weight. I got plastic surgery because I hated my chest. I’m not going to sit there and degrade or terrorize other women to try to bring them down because I feel less attractive than they do. That’s something a narcissist would do.
Hi Miko,
Sorry to hear about your experience but thank you for sharing! God forbid, can you imagine how many ladies actually hit other women with their car in this rage? More importantly the number of victims that are seriously injured? Pushing your daughter sounds so innocent it’s crazy how someone will try and bring you down during a simple stroll in a sun dress.You have to wonder what did they get out of that? 🙁
Jen
What kind of world are we living in. These mean people need God in their lives. They would
be so much happier doing the right thing and caring about others. Pray for them is all you can
do. I have a jealous mean person who goes to my Gym. I try to avoid her and always give
her a smile. And, I pray for her. I repeat, that’s all you can do. Blessings to all. Liz
I have always been a girls girl, i will admit it i am very flexible and strong, i am a competitive national & international figure skater, i am used to bitchy jealous behaviour, but i have never experienced the amount of sheer nastiness i encountered at a recent yoga class. I got yoga barbie, i got annoying voice and other nasty comments by less flexible women. Well it started with one, then she turned it into a group bitch fest. I am so saddened by this, but i am going back i will follow your advice and keep smiling, if it continues i will speak to the yoga instructor. What is weird is that they were insulting me – a stranger to them that they don’t know, that has never spoken to them, so how can they judge my character and say i am annoying, I realised it was put downs through jealousy over my ability.
Hi Sharon,
Honored to have a national and international figure skater on my blog! Yes, keep smiling and most importantly be KIND and respectful. When a group of ladies are having a “bitch fest” and you do something nice for them or show genuine kindness, (the most beautiful thing) it will usually melt even the coldest of hearts. For example, this weekend out with my husband – this group of ladies were checking me out head to toe staring at me so hard it felt like like daggers… I was having a happy day smiling. I could hear them talking shit about me… I only had one item and offered them to go ahead of me. I smiled. They went right ahead of me looking at me in disgust. It was funny. I just laugh. My husband noticed too. For him to say something about noticing confirms how bitter some women truly are. Take care. Remember to smile. (they don’t like to see you happy)
It doesn’t get better with age! I’m 62. I’m not the least bit overweight and have a beautiful figure. I work out for health reasons and because I like to look my best. I’ve lived in my current city for 20 years and don’t have a single girlfriend. I’ve joined several book clubs and church groups, but the women all circle around talking to each other and no one starts a conversation with me. They are too busy to have coffee with me when I ask (I don’t ask anymore) and not one woman has initiated any friendship toward me. They also make snide remarks out loud about how “I can afford” to have that piece of cake. I’ve actually had 2 women I used to work with at different jobs talk to me after we were no longer working together and tell me that they hated me because I looked so much better than they did; they were jealous. It’s insane. I’m exhausted joining groups, investing time and energy, and getting nothing in return but ignored, at best. At this point I really do NOT like women at all. They’re so frickin’ insecure! Women just totally suck. Thanks for listening.
I can totally relate to all of these comments, and I’m very sad for everyone who’s been treated badly because of jealousy. It’s even worse when you think you’re unattractive or plain and don’t know others find you attractive. They don’t realise you beat yourself up about your looks every day.
The saddest part is because of all the bad treatment I’ve received from women (especially older women who used to be hot), I’m loath now to join book clubs and other events I might like because they’re female-dominant and it never ends well. Men are absolutely lovely to me, but women? Unless it’s an absurdly pretty girl, I might as well be a leper.
It’s funny sometimes how stunningly beautiful women will just start talking to me out of the blue. They must be so starved for friendship and so wary of plainer women’s shit, that when they see another looker, it’s ‘Hey, bosom buddy!’ I was in the supermarket one day and this girl with her group (absolutely modelesque, gorgeous blonde) walks past and she just says hi to me and talks to me as if we’ve known each other for years. A complete stranger! It floored me. Then I remembered I live in a town with very few younger, hot women, and most of the chicks around here are cold and unfriendly to younger women, especially pretty ones.
Almost without exception, the women who’ve been angelic to me in workplaces in the past have been knockouts. I don’t even try to befriend them; we just gravitate to each other. Most of my current friends could easily be models. The hottest and smartest one of all is also the one who’s been the nicest to me.
I’m at the point now where I won’t even bother trying to be friends with a woman unless she’s drop-dead gorgeous AND has an amazing personality. I’ve decided life is too short and there are too many spectacular people in the world for me NOT to take this approach. Why shouldn’t I have friends who treat me well?
Meanwhile, I try not to piss off the rest. When I walk past a woman with her man, whether she’s pretty or not, I ignore the guy and smile at her. In my mind, it accomplishes two things: firstly, the woman will feel better about herself (you’re not only checking her out, you’re not trying to flirt with her man); secondly, the guy will see you smiling at his girl and whether or not he thinks you’re gay, it will raise his girl in his estimation and he will respect her more, as it adds to her mystique. This is a full-proof method, and it’s not hard to do because usually the chicks look loads better than their guys anyway.
Female jealousy and competitiveness can make life hell, but what’s even worse is letting yourself be less than your best because of fearing the backlash. Confidence is the best defence. They back off when they see nothing can ever bring you down. It just makes them realise what absolute losers they are, and if they’re not fools on top of that, they usually stop the antics and grow up.
Hello,
I am so glad that I came across this amazing blog of your’s. I too want to share my experience. I got married 4 months ago. My husband’s family consists of his father, mother, two brothers, sister-in law and he himself. Me and my husband lives in the city and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law lives in a village. We have not yet divided the parental property so it is like living together however living seperately in different place. Whenever we go to visit my husband’s parents, I always catch her staring at me and whenever I catch her staring at me she turns her face away. I had even tried keeping a very good relationship with her by asking her about her family and other casual things but she replied with only one word. Honestly, I have never seen a smile on her face. In a group full of people, she seems to be friendly with each one except me. One day, she was chit-chatting with my mother-in-law and I also joined them but as soon as I entered the room , she immediately got out of the room. One thing more interesting was that she has blocked me from her facebook too , amazingly we were not friends on facebook. She took the time to search my name on her facebook and block me even though we were in each other’s friend list. She always used to wear Kurtha Salwar or other traditional clothes as my husband told me but now after she saw me she has started wearing western clothes. I am so amazed like how can someone be so insecure about themselves and how can i make someone feel that way? However, i really enjoy approaching her because i loe someone who is jealous of me.
Hi Tanya!
Wow I’m so sorry to hear what you’re dealing with! Oh geez, That feeling when you catch people STARING and then they look away. Yuck! Poor honey! You probably feel like you said or did something wrong but I know you didn’t! Blocked you from facebook? Strange. She sounds miserable. Perhaps her life is not fun or very restricted? Cultural? Or is she just a B!tch? She probably acts like she’s “too good to talk to you” You might as well have some fun with it. My mother in law treats me this way, never smiles, looks at me like I have news headlines written on my face and looks away too. I just stop trying. As soon as you stop trying and make sure you have a good time by enjoying your own company and other relatives. I used to cringe alone time with my mother-in-law, now I enjoy being myself not caring. Be strong. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this!
Jen