#Dear Me – Some advice for my younger self

If I could give some #Dear Me advice to myself when I was younger in middle school, here it is!

This #DEAR ME project going around the internet is an amazing positive opportunity to help young women especially with confidence and inspiration. It helps young women realize how differences and insecurities are temporary obstacles and to embrace their lives and encourages uniqueness. Rock on ladies! I’m going to talk about my struggles, insecurities, and cool things I’ve overcame. Woo hoo! Grab a cup of coffee and let’s dish!

Dear Jenny, (yup that’s me)

I know you’re struggling right now. Your step father recently passed away and you’re confused. Your mom is depressed and struggling emotionally and financially. Your relationship with your younger brothers isn’t always easy because you’re their half-sister. I know you feel different being mixed, you feel like you stick out like a sore thumb in your family portraits 😉 You spend a lot of time by yourself day dreaming and thinking. You keep to yourself a lot right now in middle school.

The Ultimate LONG HAIR Guide

Take all these struggles as a learning experience. These are some roots that are going to make you a strong woman like your mom. You’re going to embrace change in your life and know how to adapt to life that’s ever evolving. Nothing is forever and you learn very early that there’s going to be some amazing chapters in your life. You’re going to realize that keeping to yourself and being this super mysterious person is going to help you in the future. You’re going to love your own company and you will learn confidence. You actually start to love your unique looks.

I know you feel very different in middle school with your looks right now. You’re mixed and it feels like nobody in the world looks like you. You’re a blend of Native America, German, French, Irish. You have probably the longest hair in middle school, you have the highest cheek bones, you feel too skinny, your neck is long – and you’re tall for your age. People in middle school feel more comfortable hanging out with people of their own race. You feel comfortable being around all races. You’re going to experience people not wanting to talk to you because you’re different. This is temporary Jenny! You’re morphing into an exotic beauty. You don’t believe me right now because a boy in your class calls you a “giraffe” another boy calls you “bones” and a tough girl in P.E. calls you ugly every day and stares at you the whole time, another girl in P.E. asks your friend why you’re so skinny and will look you “up and down” everyday. A boy in 7th grade constantly sexually harasses you while sitting next to you in class, he eventually puts his hands on you and places you in a choke hold – you almost pass out. Another boy stabs you in the leg with a pencil! A girl you don’t even know threw gum in your long hair for no reason. A girl tried to pull your hair because she thought you were wearing a wig! You’re amazed by all this unwanted attention and you keep to yourself and a few close friends. Your own younger bothers constantly try to attack and hit you. You start wanting to learn about the internet in 9th grade and how to make websites – the high school does not want you in the web club because you’re the only girl – people will tell you to quit thinking about web design as a career. This crazyness is temporary Jenny! Trust me! Take this as a learning experience and realize what’s really going on with these people.

Eventually this is what’s going to happen in the future, brace yourself! You won’t even believe any of this! You’re going to grow into that long neck and look graceful. Your body is going to gain muscle and take shape in ways you never imagined. You’re going to look healthy and in shape – you will get to co-host a car show, people will want to take your photos. You’re going to learn about skin care, makeup and beauty and you’re going to rock it. All the good habits you have are going to pay off big! Your hair will stay long and strong and people will ask you how they can grow out their hair wherever you go. Your crazy cheekbones will give you the a stunning look that’s all yours for days! You will learn that the women that talked bad about you were so insanely jealous of you the whole time. Dealing with jealous women will become a frequent unpleasant song that you will hear playing in the background. However you actually learn how to spot these jealous women and actually enjoy it! You will also feel sorry for them when you learn that they’re actually insecure. You will learn that some of your “so called friends” have always been jealous of you – they will try to “back stab” you – and you will learn everything they said about you and keep it a secret because you will find it hysterical. They “un friend” you and try to crawl back someday but you have moved on to bigger and better things in life. – You hate drama.

Someday you will run into the boy that called you “giraffe” and he will ask if you remember him and try to flirt with you – You’re going to ignore him because you know you deserve better. When you’re in your thirties, you will run into that girl that bullied you – she’s going to wait on you behind a cash register – you and her will lock eyes and you will give her your biggest smile ever. You’re gorgeous Jenny.  You even shine from within. When you go out, people will notice you and stare. You are now happy with your looks but humble, which is truly memorizing 😉

The guy that called you “bones” is going to see you someday and say “daymn.” The boy that stabbed you will draw you some creepy fan art someday. lol. Remember all the self-defense you learned growing up? Someday you will come home from work and a man will be hiding in your closet with a knife- he will try to murder you – you will evade the knife like a ninja and reverse the blade – you will allow him to live and scare him away with your courage and badassness. Someday in your own backyard a man will attack you and try to rape you – you will defend yourself again badly injuring the attacker. You will always feel able to defend yourself. You will also seek justice when someone tries to steal your car someday – you will face him in court with courage.

Being quiet and mysterious has benefited your well –  People are drawn to you like gravity – someone will even be sure to tell you that someday. You will follow your dreams and go to college and develop your graphic design skills, web design and web development, and SEO skills. You’re going to be a free spirit – your college professor tells you that you “march to the beat of your own drummer”. You’re going to love driving your Acura integra and feel free “racing” behind the wheel. Yes, being a tom boy has made you badass but you’re still a girly girl. You have your skills and advantages. You’re going to make awesome websites and Google will support you someday. You’re usually going to be the only female where you work and you will amaze your male co-workers. Your willingness to hang out with people of all races will take you on a journey meeting the most fascinating people and gaining unique opportunities. You will learn about every culture and someday create a beauty blog discussing worldly skin care and beauty rituals. Every month hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world will visit your website and thank you for your tips that changed their lives. You will be able to have those nice clothes but you will realize you don’t need them to make you happy because you already are. 😉

Jenny, keep being yourself and keep being good, keep studying and learning something new everyday. Don’t worry about being popular. Don’t worry about not having the best of clothes right now and keep being humble. Your talents will not go unnoticed. You’re different but it’s going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.


Jen ( your future self) 😉 XO


Thank you for reading my #DEAR ME letter to my younger self.




  1. Dragana April 10, 2015
    • Jen Ruhman April 10, 2015
  2. Ranitha April 12, 2015
    • Jen Ruhman April 12, 2015

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